(Insert clever title here)

An update

2010-02-20T16:13:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've decided to break down my blog into two separate blogs. This one here will go bye-bye in about a month.

For family photos, stories, etc, the new blog with be jbpande.blogspot.com/. It's only by invitation, generally meant as a means of updating other family members with the goings-on in our little family. So if you want to be able to view that blog, email me at jocelynne@desertrealm.com and let me know you want to be invited to view the "family blog". I'll send an invite.

The other blog, which I haven't yet designed or gotten a url for, will be about me, not Jocelynne the wife, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, etc. Basically a place where I can be my crazy self. It probably won't be rainbows and butterflies, and may include some "drama" (ie things I have issues with), and questions & thoughts about life in general. I'll post my photos (which I might do on the family one also), my favorite song lyrics, etc.

If you want to be invited to that one, send an email asking to be invited to the "personal blog" to jocelynne@desertrealm.com. I won't post the name or link here. I'll reply to your email with the link.

Or you can ask for an invitation to both. No biggie!

Peace out blog peeps! I'll keep this here for a while to be sure whoever wants to see it will have a chance. :D

Thinking...

2010-01-25T21:43:00.001-08:00

I'm thinking about making this blog into a family-oriented blog with pics and stories of my family.

And then I'm thinking of starting a new blog with content similar to what's here now, and maybe a little more real as far as what goes on in my grey matter. That would be by invitation, or possibly just not searchable (or attached to this username).

Let me know what you all think. Thanks!

Favorite Lyrics Part 9

2010-01-11T01:27:00.000-08:00

Leave Out all the Rest by Linkin Park, especially this stanza:

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed

Dealing with my bipolar disorder and people dealing with me will, I'm sure, leave behind bad memories of me. I'm a firm believer in karma, and even though I eff up on an almost daily basis, I try to make up for that by doing good things when I can. Helping out strangers. Sending surprise fun mail to friends. Handmaking cards for family and friends to show I care.

I wish I knew where I stood with the karma gods. Or maybe I don't. I think sometimes I'm ahead, so when something big goes down and I lose it completely, maybe it'll be even-steven til the next thing. I'm doing the best I can.

Will it be enough? I just don't know. I hope so, but I just don't know.

Not feelin' it.

2009-11-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

Just don't give a damn about blogging lately. Hopefully I will soon. Hope everyone is well!

New Background

2009-11-04T19:24:00.001-08:00

Still working out some bugs, so for now, the photos in the posts are a little see-through. Sorry!

Fun new project!

2009-11-03T22:31:00.000-08:00

My friend Amber and I have started a fun, new photography project called Two is Better than One. There's an intro on there, but basically we are each taking a photo a week and posting them, without know what the other has taken a photo of. I only see her pic when I go to post it on the blog. It's really fun!

It's nice to have a new project, isn't it? One you look forward to? We're a bit late this week, but I'll have it up tomorrow. :D

Wood Stuff...

2009-10-10T01:33:00.000-07:00

I re-listed some painted wood items to my etsy shop (link) that didn't sell originally. Go check them out if you want. Also, let me know if you'd like me to look into some winter/Christmas items. It's too late for Halloween, but the wood shop I go to usually has some cute stuff for year-round decorations.

Also, I'm still working on my fabric stuff. My boys have Axis & Allies set up on the table and that's gotta go. The stuff I'm sewing is WAY more important than world war! Besides, my youngest is winning. Proud or scared??? Not sure.

Peace!

Playing around with the layout again...

2009-10-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Ok, the owl page was bugging me. Not so much the owl, it was cute. But the whole thing was cute. I kinda want something graphic-art-y, but mellow. Cool, but not crazy. I found a really "teenager" skull and crossbones background, but I don't want that either. And I'm sure you guys don't either. Seems like picking a background should be easy. Then I think maybe I'll just design one. Yeah, right. :P

So for now, basic. Autumn colors and white. I call it "Autumn Basic".

Aliens and Babies

2009-10-04T23:39:00.001-07:00

Took some photos of this cute little alien my son got from one of those coin-op machine at the gas station. The whole thing is only 1¼ inches wide, so I used a magnifier lens. I put him on an art quilt for fun. So cool how this little thing had so much detail! Like the designs on the outer rim of the ship and there are even little control panels and buttons. So fun! I've been so out of practice with taking pictures, I just haven't felt like it at all. Other than my Polaroids of course. That's just point and shoot, and hope for the best. But that's ok, that's all I needed to do.

I've been watching this little cutie on and off for a couple months, but this past week I've had her every day. This next week too. It's been nice to have a little one around again. She just smiles so big, with one big dimple in her left cheek. She's 8 months old and just so fun! I don't get a lot done at home while watching to make sure she doesn't eat the fish or call Japan on my cell phone. :P

The fam and I have immersed ourselves wholly in The X-Files. Good gawd David Duchovny is ssooo hot! And it has made me wonder, how on Earth did we watch TV with commercials???

It's been cloudy and rainy here for a few days and I love it, except that when the air pressure drops, I get big headaches. The kind that come at night and stay all night and are with me when I wake up. May just be me, but who knows?

Well, here's to another week. Enjoy!

Owls

2009-09-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

You know, I'm not into the whole owl thing that's going around, but I do think they are cute. (And if you are into the whole owl thing, that's cool.) Anyway, I really wanted a blog background that's edgy. I like the ones by Marah Johnson, but they are for myspace pages and I'm not savvy enough to figure out how to get just the background image onto my blog. I like the one called "vintage rock". Maybe someday I'll figure it out! Til then...owl eyes. Or maybe owl eyes for just a little while.

That's about it!

OOH I lied. I'm making some things for my etsy shop. I'll post when they're in. I've had several people tell me I should make this one specific thing to sell, and I'm making two of them to sell. Meaning there would be only FIVE out in the world (I have one, my friend Amber has one, and a lady named Kay has one). At least til I make some more I guess. IF I make more.

So keep your owl eyes open for that post...

List Part II

2009-09-17T23:59:00.000-07:00

► Feeling so unenchanted about life right now. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is fascinating to me. My life has become dull and routine, except for broken bones. Sometimes I go with Amber to lunch and smack into doors and run into trees and stuff. But bleh.
► My list posts always seem longer than other people's list posts. I'm so chatty. I really should blog more. That way my posts will be shorter. Right?
► I want to make something for the baby but I heard her momma say she had too many blankets already. So what do I do? No idea. Besides, she has surpassed me in her sewing skills, so anything I make she can make much better than I can. The momma, not the baby.
► I like Target's halloween stuff this year.
► I've become addicted to Facebook's Mahjong game. I prefer WordJong. Which is similar in the tile setup, but you have to make words. Fun! And later this month a Where's Waldo game is coming out. And they just came out with PINK Nintendo DSIs. It's like, what do I have to do to get one of those babies?
► Got the boys' school pics back. I must say, my boys are so handsome! I sort of let them down this summer by not doing much stuff, but I seem to burn so easily what can I do? We only went to the pool once. And that's it. I'm an awful mom. Awful. Or at least I feel like it. :(
► I like old school photobooths. A lot. And I can count on Miss Amber to go with me and act like a dork with me in them. I'll post a pic. :D
► Loving this cooler weather.
► Peace!

What shall we post about? A list maybe?

2009-09-17T23:29:00.000-07:00

► The oldest broke his arm. The details are a bit sketchy but the overall scenario seems to be corroborated by the other party present. Some sort of football, E advanced with two hands and pushed the kid in the chest, and pop goes the bones. Yes, bones. Both radius and ulna, about an inch or so below the wrist joint. The kid he hit into didn't even budge! I imagined him flying backward, since the force broke bones. Took him to the urgent care and got him casted up. He was in an immense amount of pain, probably due to the rotating motion as well as the flexing motion. Once the cast was on, the pain was gone nearly immediately. He'll wear this for about 3 weeks and then a re-exam to see how the healing is going. Quite baffled as to why they broke so easily. The doc in the urgent care is an orthopedic surgeon, and he said that this kind of break is the best kind. The bones don't displace or move apart, but rather grind into each other causing a bulge. So he should heal nicely. Green cast. I decorated it today with an alien head, a spaceship with an alien, and a skull & crossbones. Some kids signed it. B drew a rocket. P drew something but he draws so small, he says it's a guy doing a thumbs up sign. Ok then!
► Glad the weather has been tolerable the last while. It was getting confusing...one week nice, one week hot, one day chilly, then hot again. I know Utah has wildly unpredictable weather, but this was extreme!
► Went to Amber's mom's yard sale. Got some super old bottles for my in-laws who collect old stuff like that. Got myself a couple little bottles to do something fun with. Got some geodes (those are freakin cool!) and some fabric.
► My dad and I are talking about going out to take photos so he can teach me the ol' TLR. Old school photography. Amber gave me some film for that camera type so I'm hoping the camera works. What if it doesn't??? We shall see! I'm a little nervous cuz I'm not a good learner of the technical side of photography. I usually just wing it. And hope for the best. The old camera requires calculations and stuff. Gah!
► I should be working on a quilt block swap and I haven't started yet. :( I find it hard to work on creative projects when I don't feel creative. The only creative idea I've had for several months is taking my niece to the park in her fairy costume getup and taking pics of her just being herself. Thought that could be cute. I'll have to ask her momma if I can borrow her for an afternoon or morning.
► My list is too long, so I'll break it up and post the rest in a few days!
► Peace!

Welcome little one!

2009-09-10T23:07:00.001-07:00

I'm an auntie again! I've always loved being able to say that. I don't say auntie any other time. This is W. She was born on Aug 26 and I'm completely in love with her of course. Whenever I hold a newborn it feels like the first time, no matter how much time has passed since the last one. I think the last time was was H, her big sis. Many moons ago, but really just 2½ years.

I held little W again a couple days ago. It felt wonderful to just hold her close. I'm always off in my own little world, but more so when I'm holding a baby. I kept her mama from her much needed nap and made her big sis late for her nap. I feel bad about that...my timing is usually pretty awful.

Babies are on my mind a lot. Not just cuz they're around. Something deeper that's hard to talk about, because even after all these years, people still tell us we need to have another baby. Some people who have good intentions. Some people who have no business saying it. Some people who think we aren't a "complete" family because we don't have a daughter. But that's bullshit. Sure, sometimes I feel like someone or something is missing from our family. Not necessarily a daughter. Maybe nothing I can even label. Maybe a couch. I have no right to yearn for more than what I have, no right at all. I know a lot of people who can't have kids at all. Or don't have a car. And I know I'm lucky as hell to be able to not work. I should work, the money would be nice, but I can't seem to find a job that will let me have every 3rd month off cuz my kids are off-track.

I'll admit this right now, I'm jealous of the relationship my sister-in-law has with her mom. I'd say I miss that with my mom, but can you miss what you didn't have? I know, that sounds callous. But this seems to be another undefinable feeling. Or maybe I can define it but know that I shouldn't.

Cryptic much?

For now I'll be content to snuggle a baby when her mama will let me, and follow a 2½ year old as she shows me her room and her sister's room and her toys and I try to teach her some letters with fridge magnets. Cuz in my little world, those things are just about the best things ever.

That's all for now.

Click to see the picture bigger!

Finding Marden...

2009-08-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

In my brother-in-law's words. He found Marden Sunday morning.

Well, what do i say? We have all Been looking for my step grandpa. He had gone missing wed afternoon. No one has heard or seen him in a long time. 84 year old stubborn cowboy Marden Stone that has alot of land down south in a small town scipio. He loved it there, lived there his whole life. After a long and gruling search party with well over 250 people, planes, helocopters, 4 wheelers, cars, trucks,horses. After 4 days of searching they called off the search party, I knew my inlaws go riding on sunday so i called up my father in law dennis and asked him if he would come down there and bring the horses. He was happy to come down, kyle and kari came to and brought me a horse to ride. We took off and went up near his favorite spot my step mother told ... about. We found him, and i knew he had passed on his truck had sleed off the side of the road and there he laid peacefully inside of his truck. he is in a happy place now. What a great life that old boy lived and i'll never forget all the great times i had in scipio growing up there as a kid and getting in trouble for tipping over the hay stack or running the horses to hard. Love ya marden and we'll see ya later...

The sheriff held a meeting Saturday morning and called off the official search. At that time he estimated 150 GROUPS out searching for Marden. Sunday morning it was mostly family and extended family searching, and no one wanted to give up. Family of family of family were all involved. On horseback, they took a closer look in the area called Cutler Canyon. They saw where a tire had spun out in the dirt, and shortly after his truck was spotted.

Brent told us that when he got to the truck, Marden looked so peaceful, so he thought he was asleep. Marden had taken off his hat and put it on the dashboard and taken off his boots. He had a very peaceful expression. He didn't seem to be injured. Brent and his in-laws left after the officials arrived so they could do their job in getting Marden out of there. The truck had slid and wedged in between some trees, so they had a big job ahead of them.

Sheriff Dekker personally knew Marden, so this was especially hard on him. My husband Brian helped out in the search and he said he was so impressed by the police's involvement and work. He doubts he'll ever see the kind of care that went into this search in any other city.

The mood back at the house where the family was waiting changed from one of intense worry to one of relief and there were even some laughs. I was expecting a room full of tearful family. There were tears, of course, but there was a feeling of relief and calmness too. And smiles.

My husband called me from the mountain to give me word earlier in the day, and my sister-in-law Kacy, the kids, and I all drove down to lend support and condolences and to gather our husbands for the journey home. We got home about 7:30 or so, and I know Brent and Kacy didn't get home til well after 10 pm. It was a long, rough weekend with an ending that could have been much, much worse.

Thank you everyone for your prayers and wonderful support and caring. I told Grandma she had many people praying for her and she is very thankful. Very thankful.

♥

There are still mysteries in the world.

2009-08-07T23:15:00.000-07:00

Case in point: Marden Stone was last seen August 5, 2009 at approximately 1300 hours in Scipio, Utah. Marden is 84 years old and has Alzheimer’s Disease. He is described as being 5’07” tall, weighing 180 lbs, and having gray hair and blue eyes. Marden is known to wear cowboy attire and a dusty brown hat. He should be driving a 2007 white Chevrolet pickup bearing Utah registration 530PBJ. Marden also has bad knees and would probably not get out of his vehicle. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Marden Stone please contact the Millard County Sheriff’s Office at 435-743-5302.

This man is my husband's step-mom's dad, basically our Grandpa. He owns tons of land and cattle in Scipio, Utah, which is a small town about 112 miles south of my house.

My husband and his brother drove down there early today to help with the search. He's been missing since the 5th, when he went out to check out some of his fences and cattle, as is his routine. He just never came back. There's absolutely no sign of him. Family and friends have offered ideas on where he might have gone, and one relative even took a helicopter ride to point out some areas to check out. They've literally run out of ideas of where to search, after searching every possible place. They've had helicopters, planes, a Jeep Posse, friends, neighbors and strangers searching.

The Millard County Sheriff has been very actively involved in organizing the search. He's been at his family's home and has made Marden's disappearance his top priority. The LDS Church's Relief Society has jumped into action, keeping everyone fed, not accepting a "no thank you".

One area my husband and his brother stopped in was the Maple Grove campground, not far from Scipio, to see if they could post a flier about Marden. They were given the ok by the campground host. He also mentioned a worrisome bit: he's been a camp host for 7 years and has never seen one rattlesnake in that time. This year, there have been at least 30 in the campground alone.

Not much more information right now. The Sheriff wants to gather all the volunteers and search members together in the morning, hopefully to make new search plans. Hoping like hell he doesn't change it from a "search and rescue" to a "search and recovery". Nearly 36 hours since Marden was last seen, the latter is a very real possibility. (That's just my theory, nothing official)

We aren't close with Marden and his wife Claris, but we do consider them family of course. It's awkward to call him Grandpa, but he is...ours and his biological grandchildren's.

Update as soon as I know anything.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

2009-08-02T11:34:00.001-07:00

SCRABBLE! I've been playing online Scrabble with my sister, and let me tell you, I am LOVING IT! I love how the internet can bring people closer together to do things that wouldn't be possible because of your geographical distance. Even if she only lives 10 minutes due East. :D But I also love it because I love word games, and these people I live with (I won't name names) only indulge me in Boggle like once a month. WTH? And lastly, but not leastly, I have at last found a worthy foe. That game right there mostly just shows MY awesome words (hey, it's my blog) but let me tell you, she makes some kickass words! She's going on vacation next week and I'm not sure how I'll sleep at night...we've been playing late and I fall right to sleep after, something my sleeping pills can't or won't make me do.

I didn't win the Ugly Quilt Contest, but that's ok. The weird thing is, while I was looking at the other entries, I thought some of them were cute! I'm sure there are some deep psychological issues to be examined there, but let's move on.

My boys started 6th and 4th grades. I know, it was a short break. It's because of year-round school. We went to "Back to School" night and met with their teachers. They seem pretty good! Speaking of which, I need to do *my* homework assignment...I need to write an essay about my oldest, for his teacher. Has to be a million words or less. I think I can handle that limit. I am quite chatty.

Well, I guess that's it! Oh, I turned word verification on, I was getting a lot of irritating Chinese posts. I translated some, and I determined that they are indeed spam. If I see one that begins: 我进來和平 I will know it's legit. (It says "I come in peace" according to a translation site). The only reason I've even translated them is that I've had postcard correspondence with some people in China, and I believe they might read my blog. I don't want to be flat-out rejecting all Chinese posts on the assumption that they are spam. Ok?

Ok then! Peace out!

One of these days...

2009-07-16T11:24:00.001-07:00

I will make a cute banner for my blog and it won't look so generic. Or not. It's hard to say.

I entered this Ugly Quilt Contest. Click over and look at the other contestants and their stories and vote on which one you love/hate. All of the little stories are HILARIOUS! If so feel so inclined to vote on mine (which you totally don't have to, unless you want to) mine is called Turd Runner and it's down near the bottom.

Here's a little quilt I made to hang in my living room. It's 12x12 inches. So little. I haven't hung it yet. But the reason is that I redid some wall art/photo groupings and one of them I wasn't crazy about. And the main theme of that grouping is green (ie all of the items have green in them). So I wanted to make something to match. I also did the black border because all the frames in all the groupings are black. I made one of these (similar, but not identical) for my friend Amber and for a mini-quilt swap I was in. The theme for the swap was "Spring Blooms". Not quite on theme, but I guess that's ok. :D Also, it was my first time doing "free motion quilting" with my machine, on the sun and treetops. Nerve wracking. Definitely need more practice on that.

This is the one I got from the lady that drew my name, Jan. Click on that thumbnail and look at the larger image cuz this quilt is AMAZING! The photos don't do it justice at all. Her piecing and quilting are just AMAZING! I've enrolled for the "Good Ol Summertime Mini Quilt Swap" so I need to get some ideas for that.

I have another project to share, but I'm afraid it might be quilt overload, so I'll share that next time.

The boys successfully completed their 08-09 classes. E finished the 5th grade with AMAZING results! I'm so proud! He worked so hard and helped classmates and had some extra responsibilities in the classroom. It's always nice as a parent to go in and hear from the teachers how well your kids do.

P finished 3rd grade and did ok. (I feel bad saying that). He had quite a few "Needs Improvement" marks on his citizenship. Mostly he goofs off with a friend in class. I saw it with my own two eyes when I got there for an "open house" to display posters the kids made. He didn't know I was there yet, so that was interesting to see. I'm crossing my fingers that the two aren't in the same class next time. He was also very forgetful and neglectful of his assignments, especially the big ones that needed lots of prep. Next year I'm going to be in weekly contact with his teacher to get him on track, I really don't want this to continue another year. He's definitely a handful.

Well, poo, I don't want to leave this on a not-positive note. So let's see...I had a really bad sunburn from the pool last week and that's finally healing. So that's good, right?

Peace out!

PS You can click on those pics for bigger versions!

A couple pics for your viewing pleasure

2009-06-16T00:05:00.001-07:00

Bowling for E's birthday party. Well, self-portraits at said party. :D Since I *am* ego-centric and all.

Later gators!

2:29 am I must be lonely

2009-06-15T01:29:00.000-07:00

Have I used that title before? It always seems to fit though. Finished a quilt top today. I'm calling it Spring Pop. I always name my quilts. Sometimes I can't remember what I name them though. I remember Disco Fever, Lovely, Grannie's Dream, and I think I named one Cherry Chocolate or something. Who knows?

I should be asleep.

Having one of those crappy days where I ponder life and all it's facets.

Our lilies have bloomed. I do love those lilies. We hit the jackpot with those. They are HUGE and make many giant blooms.

I'm so not a religious person, but those of you that are (LDS) will appreciate this: we were invited by our neighbor's to go to the open house of the newest LDS Temple. For those of you not familiar, once a temple is built and after it's dedicated, you need special paperwork to even get in past the foyer. It's a beautiful building with the most amazing chandeliers EVER. I was completely mesmerized by them. And the rooms and fabrics were exquisite. Yes, I looked at it from an architectural and design point of view, but still. I can see why these building would inspire...whatever you want to call it. I mentioned to B that since this newest one is the 13th in Utah alone, they had best be working on building another one. And for funsies, I tried to get B to say in a regular voice (not a whisper) "Praise be to Krishna" (whatever the hell that means), but he wouldn't do it. I just wanted to see what would happen. So irreverant I am. I never claimed NOT to be though.

Other than sewing, watching the fish (7 one-month old babies and some new-new ones, as in the last couple days). We need to get another tank for the male before he knocks up one of the women-folk again. :P The babies are so cute though! I love babies in all forms, except maybe snakes. Or tarantulas. Ok, there are limits on which babies I love. But still! They are cute!

Til next time (hopefully I'll have a picture of my new quilt by then)...peace!
xoxo

Holy crap!

2009-06-05T18:12:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been that long since I blogged! Especially for a chatty person! lol I've been using Facebook a lot. It's perfect for me since I like to do little "recap" posts. Like bullet points. You know?

-So my oldest turned 11 in April.
-My youngest turns nine in two weeks.
-I should be working on a quilt block for a swap, but I'm not. I'm here instead.
-Went to visit my little sister in Idaho for a few days.
-Boys are off-track. So naturally they are bored as can be.
-My lovely husband is in the process of quitting his job and working full-time for the company he and a friend have started. Scary new chapter, but I think it will be ok!
-What happened to May?
-Saw my friend Amber a couple times. Gotta love mall food. :P

Well, that's about it, I guess. Completely uneventful. I know. What's up with you all?

2 am Easter

2009-04-12T01:01:00.001-07:00

Been a long time...my apologies! On Aprilo 1st, my lovely friend Amber and I went to the Postsecret event in Logan at Utah State University. Postsecret (link at right) is a fascinating phenomenon where people artfully decorate a postcard and include a secret, all anonymously. It has to be a secret that you've never ever told anyone before. (Or that's the idea, I suppose there are a few that don't follow that rule.) You then mail the postcard to the creator of the project. The idea is that once you've gotten your secret off your chest, you'll feel better.

Anyway, I digress. The event was a little less that we expected. The dude got up and told a little about secrets, how the project got started and whatnot.

The fun part for us was the drive up there. Neither of us had ever been to Logan. After the even, Amber bought me a book and we waited in line to have it signed. My very first signed book! (I think!) No, actually, not. But still cool.

We decided to stay overnight at a hotel there, so we wouldn't be driving back during the night. We had lots of laughs. Told each other lots of secrets. Lots of laughs. Some unfortunate mishaps, which led to more laughs. Reading the books we got. Talking about the ones we could identify with. Talking and more talking. Til maybe 4:30 am. Finally we fell asleep and woke around 11:30, missing the breakfast by a longshot. Went to find food in town, ended up at a really cool place called Angie's. Delish! We had planned to take pics around Logan, since there are AMAZING buildings and stuff there. But we ended up at this bookstore/scrapbook store/toy store. Found lots of scrapbook stuff we didn't need. And then we had to go. More talking, laughing, talking, etc.

So basically, the event that brought us there kind of stunk, but the rest of the trip was a blast!

It was nice to get away for a night and have some girl time. Amber's so easy to talk to that sometimes I monopolize the conversation. I'm working on not doing that.

The whole thing got me thinking though. I wondered if I have a secret I've never told anyone before. And I don't think I do. Is that possible? I know I have things I haven't told everyone that might affect them, but is that really a secret? I'm going to keep thinking about it.

Anyway, check out that site. Every Sunday they post twenty of the most intriguing cards he's received recently. It's interesting to say the least. Who knows, maybe one of my reader's will be inspired to share their secret.

Peace out!

So...

2009-03-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

I guess I'll switch back to the legible template. The other was pretty, but I needed my husband, the computer programmer, to help me with some code and he doesn't have time for such trivial matters. Oh well. I guess I can make a cute banner. Yeah, I'll do that.

I just wish blogger would make some more stylish layouts, you know? Theirs are so boring!

I'm enjoying my new Scentsy waxes. I mixed Sunkissed Citrus and Vanilla Cream and they smell SSOOO good! The citrus is such a delicious and fresh scent! I love it! I tried the Watermelon Patch but it was a little too strong. I wonder if I mix that with a vanilla it'll be more mellow.

I guess that's all for now. Back to your regularly scheduled blog templates.

Peace out!

Bear with me please!

2009-03-12T01:32:00.000-07:00

Making a couple changes. All by myself. And since I don't know html it's going to be trial & error til I get it how I want it. :D

I have been blessed...

2009-03-04T21:14:00.000-08:00

with hilarious children! Seriously, the lay these whoppers on us and kill us! We had just come from their parent-teacher conferences (raving reviews by the way!) and we were talking about various things. Somehow we got on the subject of Einstein. And they drop this gem on us:

Einstein. The ultimate math geek and hobo.

See what I mean? So succinct and so astute. And so freakin hilarious!

And I'm pleased to announce, I have FIVE confirmed blog readers! Woohoo! I think it could be SIX but I'm waiting to hear back on that last one. ;)

Sorry I made y'all feel bad. I'm a dork. And famous for not thinking before I speak (or type, as the case may be).

Love you all, blog peeps!

11:39 PM

2009-03-03T22:38:00.000-08:00

Yep, should be in bed. And yet, here I am, on the stupid laptop tapping away about I have no idea what yet. Might be a list. Let's try that.

☼ Have you seen that show Parenthood with Steve Martin? I got a bite/nightguard a couple weeks ago to keep from gritting my teeth and clenching my jaw and all that fun stuff. I've pretty much been wearing it 24/7 since. It's definitely helping! I've only had one headache in that time. Anyway, I wake up this morning and I'm like "Oh shit, where's my mouth thing?" It was not in my mouth! Which means at some point during the night I took it out. When I was younger I had retainers after I had braces, and sometimes I'd take those out in my sleep and put them under my pillow. So of course, that's where I checked first. No go. So begins the great search. I started crying, because I couldn't believe I'd lost that thing! It was $500! I was NOT looking forward to that phone call to my dentist either. B was telling me it was fine, if we didn't find it we'd get another one, cuz it's helped so much! Anyway, after everyone had left for work or school, I looked around again. Under the bed, I spied one of the metal "tines" that hold it in place on my teeth. I was so relieved I just sat there and looked at it for a long time after I got from under the bed. The whole thing reminded me of the kid on Parenthood when he loses his retainer in that pizza place. The horrible irony is that while I was looking for the stupid thing, I was grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw. Lovely!

☼ I found my long lost friend on Facebook the other day. Or maybe she found me. We'd been friends since like 1st grade or something up until high school. And then she was in my wedding, and I went to her wedding, and from there it gets hazy. But anyway, so funny! Just chatting about the things we used to do and laugh about. I preferred being at her house more than mine. For lots of reasons, but one is that her house was so laid back. She might disagree, but that's sure how it felt compared to my house.

☼ I've also reconnected with some of my cousins. When we were young, we were close with some of the family on my mom's side. Mostly her sisters (my aunts and their husbands of course), and their kids. It's been fun reminiscing with them and seeing them all grown up in photos, since we haven't seen them much since we were kids. Now I need to find and scan pics of them when they were little and show them. Even way back then I was toting my 110 camera around and begging for another roll of film.

☼ Today I returned two items to two different stores. For some lame ass reason, neither place would just give me cash. Oh no, it had to be a gift card (ie store credit). WTH??? One of the returns was some Clinique makeup, my last attempt at makeup before giving up completely. And yes, I was indeed allergic to even Clinique. I don't foresee needing any Clinique ever again, but thanks for the store credit. ::insert eye roll here:: The second return was Franklin Covey, to return an unopened hole punch for a size of organizer I thought I might start using but decided against. I have a punch for the size I do use. And I have a whole year of calendar pages. What on Earth could I possibly need a store credit for? I rolled my eyes and got a cute pen and some cute mechanical pencils. Seriously, he couldn't just give me the $30? (It was a metal punch, very strong and nice. Also doubles as a weapon.)

☼ I didn't get much done today. Folded some laundry. Went to the library and those other places. Exciting times I live. I got a quilt back from the shop, so now I need to sew on the binding, and it'll be done. I'll post a pic when it's finished.

☼ Wednesday is Parent-Teacher Conferences. A little nervous about P's review. We've had some problems with him getting his work done, but I feel like we've made progress, so we'll see what his teacher has to say.

☼ We're all finally done being sick ::knock on wood:: so maybe that will be the last for a while, other than allergies of course. It was so windy today! It made the whole valley look so gross, all dusty and bleh.

☼ I've been meaning to do a "Favorite Lyrics" post, but I keep forgetting what song I want to do. I'm thinking it's another Jewel. Or Joshua Radin. See? I forget. Or maybe it's a song from Garden State. I'll do my best, cuz I know everyone is waiting on baited breath for that. ;)

I guess that's it! Peace out!

And special thanks to my sweet friend KimmyK, if it wasn't for her comments I would be certain no one reads my blog. Well, sometimes I get comments from other people, but not very often. Also, Kimmy just had surgery, so send some healing vibes her way!

OMG! Even when I post more often my posts are crazy long! Yikes!

Pickle

2009-03-02T14:04:00.001-08:00

I've finally started editing more of my photos from our 2008 vacation. We went to B's friend's ranch in Montana, then through Yellowstone, and then down to Victor, ID by way of Jackson, WY. It was an amazing trip! I made an album on my flickr account for this trip. Click here to see the album. It's been fun going through the photos. I plan to start my scrapbook for the trip soon, so going through them is bringing back the memories.

I know I've mentioned my fall on the mountain in Montana. And I have no idea if anyone wants to know more about it. Looking at the photos is bringing back that part of the trip too. I was talking to B about it last night and I wondered if my recollection of the fall, and the fact that I think I could very well have died on that mountain, was accurate. Or if my brain was tricking me into thinking it was worse. He said no. He said he saw the whole thing and he definitely thought I was going to die.

Basically, I'm still trying to coming to terms with it. I know I'll blog about it eventually. At least I think I will. I know it's not nearly as dramatic as someone who has been shot or has been in a serious car accident, but does that matter when something possibly deadly has happened to you? I think not.

So anyway. More cheerful things. I went scrapbooking with my friends Monica and Amber. It was so fun! I made an absolute mess with some glue and pink glitter. Sheesh! So much for trying new things. lol I was actually *really* bummed out about it, like bordering on pissed. But I tried not to show it. I didn't want my peeps to see me get like that about glue and glitter. Seriously. It seems like the dumbest stuff sets me off. It took me ages to do that page, and I did one other one. I took like 30 photos with me, in the hopes that I could start that vacation album. Oy! But other than that, it was fun.

Hopefully I can go again at some point during my boys' off-track time. Home for 3 weeks straight. So I will definitely need a break.

Well, that's it for now. Gotta go get the kidlets. Homework. Haircuts. Dinner. Showers. Sleep. Fun stuff, no?

Peace out!

PS You can click on that little photo at the top to go to the big picture.

Zwa!

2009-02-17T22:53:00.001-08:00

Two posts in a scrunchy amount of time! It can't be! But it is! I'm actually in a sort of good mood. I finished piecing the top of the quilt that shall be named "Lovely", for it is done in the motif of love and heart and pinks and reds and all things lovely. I was going to take it to be quilted today, but alas, it was not meant to be. So shall it be another day.

No clue why I'm typing like that.

Tomorrow I'm planning to have lunch with my friend Amber. Months of "we should get together for lunch" turned into me saying "we're going to lunch on the 18th". lol I should bring my camera and Polaroid. And film. A Polaroid camera is NO good without film. Essential.

I began working on my next quilt while the quilting mojo is a-flowin. It'll be various flower prints made into flowers on the quilt. It should be beautiful! I've been saving these pieces of fabric for just such an occasion.

I'm thinking of making little sets of drink coasters with the leftovers from my quilts. They are super cute and of course they coordinate. I will probably sell them in my etsy shop. I was also thinking of making some baby-size quilts (to start, and nothing super fancy) to sell. And maybe some handkerchiefs. Or I guess they could be used as table napkins. Just random stuff to use up my extras. I actually had enough fabric leftover from the quilt I made for my sister-in-law that I made myself a decent-sized square quilt.

Speaking of my sister-in-law, she and my brother-in-law are expecting another little one! I'm so excited! I think she will be due in August.

Meanwhile, this little doll is going to be TWO this weekend! She's a bundle of energy and sass and I couldn't love her more! Last time we watched her here, she wanted to goof around with B (her uncle, my husband) more than me, so I just hung back and watched. When she was younger she wasn't crazy about him. He's tall and I don't think she liked his voice or something. But now they get along. In fact, my 8 year old P was a bit (or a lot) jealous of the fun H was having with his dad! He pouted and whined and as soon as H's mom & dad came to pick her up, suddenly he was in a good mood. I'm sensing he's used to being the youngest, although I don't think we pay more attention to him compared to his brother. But add a spunky 2 year old, and things get complicated. I also think he's a little scared of her. She's knocked him around a little while trying to play and I am sensing he didn't like that at all. It's a funny dynamic to watch. Mostly because he usually loves little kids and babies!

Ok, this was supposed to be a short post. But alas, it's not anymore. I guess I better get to bed.

PS. I'm having a Scentsy catalog party, so if you want to order something, let me know! Check out their website and email me if you want more info or to order. jocelynne at desertrealm dot com.

xoxo

Thinking of winter | Your name is a splinter inside me

2009-02-14T22:08:00.000-08:00

It seems like most of my posts these days begin with some sort of lame apology or excuse for not blogging. And here's another one! I guess part of the problem is deciding what's blog-worthy and what isn't. is it better to post a bunch of boring stuff frequently? Or wait for something cool to happen and write about that?

I don't know either.

But I will tell you where I've been. I've been over on Facebook, my newest time-waster. I update in these little blurbs, which is way more succinct. You only have a set number of characters, and you really have to think about how you can word your thoughts in that number of characters. I try not to resort to things like u=you, 2=to or too, b4=before, ur=you're, your, or you are. Same with Twitter. You really have to cut things down for your updates to fit there. It's very frustrating, because I can be can long-winded at times.

Facebook rocks though. I have found my long-lost cousins. Some of them anyway. So that's been fun catching up with them. See, we've never been super close to with our cousins or aunts and uncles on either side of the family. The cousins I've found on Facebook are the ones we were closest to, even though one family lived in Delaware. But we have cousins aplenty, I'm sure, but have no way of knowing how to find them, where they are, or even their last names. I envy families that are close-knit. I've always wanted to have that.

My attempts to draw my own siblings together has failed. Two of my sisters and I speak often, my brother is close with my younger sister, my oldest sister doesn't return phone calls or emails. It's a lost cause for now. I know, I know. I've dug down deep and obsessed over my decision and it's basically that I can't do it anymore. I just have to hope that at some point they will get over the past and come forward and realize that we need each other before it's too late. My Grandma died recently. Right before Christmas, some sort of freak medical thing. I don't think anyone really understand what happened. I surely don't. It really didn't affect me much, maybe I'm a robot. Or more likely the lack of emotion is due to the fact that she barely tolerated my siblings and me. My point is that I think the hospital and funeral were the first times in a zillion years that my mom even saw her own siblings, other than two of my aunts.

Early in December I had disagreements with some of B's & my family. It may not seem like it on the outside, but I'm extremely sensitive and I took both of these things very hard. There were times (even now as I type this) that it feels like my heart will break in two. One of the situations involves someone holding a grudge against me for 13 years, and analyzing everything I said or did during those 13 years. Somehow even the good things I did were turned into negatives. I can't do it anymore. I can't do the little nice things I liked doing, because I know now that no matter what, they will never be seen in the light I hoped they would be.

The other incident involved a series of misunderstandings and inaccurate retellings. This one especially hurt. It came out of nowhere. The other people involved had been harboring these angry feelings towards me for I have no idea how long, and all the while saw everything I did after the initial misunderstanding as rude and careless. Anyone that knows the real me (which I am gathering at this point is very few) knows that I agonize over every little thing I do or say. Any decision I make that involves other people has been carefully obsessed over in my mind, trying to see things from all points of view. If I go ahead and do the thing, it's because I've determined it to be the right thing. Why do I do this? Thirteen years of being relentlessly judged by the family members in the previous paragraph. Another reason it cut me to the core? I was not given the benefit of the doubt. They didn't say "hey, maybe she didn't mean that" or "let's talk it out and see what's going on". It was automatically assumed that everything was the truth. That felt like a knife in my heart.

Anyway, I better move on or I will cry about these things again as I have done about once a week since December.

I have been doing some sewing. I finished a quilt for my sister-in-law Kacy. I was nervous as hell to give it to her, for fear she might not like it. But she did. The quilt is just so her, you know? And now I've moved on to a quilt I bought the supplies for last February, which consists of many Valentine-themed fabrics. I LOVE hearts and lovey things. I already love it and I've only done some of the pieces. I fell in love with the finished sample at the quilt shop, and was tempted to just bribe them to let me take it, but I decided to just make my own. I cannot WAIT to just wrap myself in this and have already decided to name it "Lovely". I name the quilts I make. Laugh if you want.

Well, I guess I better end for now. It's late, I'm sick, and I probably need some rest. I promise promise promise to blog more so that I don't end up with epic blog posts like this one.

Click on the pics for larger versions if you so desire.

And a parting thought:
Come on people now
smile on your brother
everybody get together
and try to love one another right now

Deep thoughts...

2009-01-19T12:19:00.001-08:00

Not really. Just felt like saying that. The boys are playing My Sims Kingdom on the wii. What language are those Sim kids speaking? All I know is that I hate having to read what they are saying. I got the My Sims game for the Nintendo DS sometime last year, and that was my first experience with the Sim kids. Kinda fun at first. But all the demands the other Sim-folk make on you gets annoying after a while. Like on the Kingdom version, first thing you have to do is help some mean lady round up her pigs. And she really is mean. She's all irritated that you don't already know how to do it. Or that the pigs got out in the first place! Then the King's dumbass messenger drops all his notices he's supposed to pass out to people, and he makes you find them and pick them up! Of course the wind blew them all over the place. And he just stands there while you do all the work! WTH??? It's like "DUDE! You dropped them, come help me pick these up!" I tell all this to the TV too. My lovely husband and boys just laugh.

I went to the scrapbook store to do some scrapping with the hilarious Monica on Saturday night. It was just us and four other ladies, who I think were sisters, or at least related. It was hard not to eavesdrop, so we got to hear their thoughts on many things. For example: gun rights, milk and lactose intolerance, what they allow to be posted about them and their families in blogs, and how they should split the cost of gifts on family birthdays, etc etc. I know there's more. It's not that Monica and I weren't talking, but the other women were talking so loudly that when we did pause, we got caught up in their conversations. I really don't think they were trying to be quiet. What can you do?

I have an appointment at the chiropractor in a bit. I have gotten up the last few mornings with excruciating pain in my lower back. Today, however, it's lasting longer than normal and it's hard to breathe. So needless to say, all I've done today is shower and get dressed. Literally. Anything else hurts. I'm glad my chiropractor can usually get me in the same day. This cycle repeats every few weeks since my fall in Montana in September. Oy.

So I guess that's about it! I have projects to start and more to finish. Plus I need to brush my teeth. :D

Comment reply:
**Kimmie, I can't believe what a small world it is! I've been a fan of pinkie style for a while. That's how I know her! It's foreign to hear that she has a real name! One of the pitfalls of creative usernames, I guess. lol**

Peace out!

all things girl dot net

2009-01-04T20:24:00.000-08:00

So about a month ago I was asked for permission to include my photo in an online magazine called All Things Girl. The theme this time is "Journeys" and there are some amazing submissions on that topic. Here's a link to my photograph on their site, but please do look around at the other amazing contributions.

A funny side-note: The photo underneath mine is by a photographer I've become friendly with online named Olivia Kjellander Hook, who does some amazing "through the viewfinder" photography, which got me interested in that form of photography. The title of my photo is "For Olivia". Yes, the same Olivia. The reason it was for Olivia? We were going to team up to do a photo duo with the little globe, of which she also has one. And it was my very first "through the viewfinder" photo ever. So it's kind of cool to see that she's also in the article, though I didn't know that before now.

"Through the viewfinder" photography is a method in which a digital photo is taken through the eyepiece of another camera, usually an old twin lens reflex like mine, named Minnie. I do believe some people use other types of cameras as well. But Minnie is what I use.

So anyway, just wanted to share! Go check out allthingsgirl.net if you feel so inclined, look around, have fun.

Peace out!

The year of JOCELYNNE!

2009-01-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

I'm a copycat of Elizabeth and declare this year to be The Year of Jocelynne! But as Oscar told Michael on The Office, you can't just declare it and expect something to happen (or something like that). So I also followed Elizabeth's advice and checked out Numerology: The personal year. After doing the complicated math required, I have decided I'm a 4, which reads:

Hard work and slow, but steady progress
This is a number 4 personal year for you. The previous year frivolity will now be truly forgotten, as the facts of life are clearly spelled out. This is a year of hard work and effort when one must knuckle down to the task at hand. A year of digging in and hoeing, a reestablishment of self-control. In many ways, however, it is a frustrating year, when considerable effort fails to produce dramatic results. One step forward and two back may seem to be the case most of the time. This is an organizational period and you must look at your current and past performance in a very hard light. It is a time to get organized and bring yourself down to earth. Responsibilities will increase, magnifying the effort and hard work needed to maintain a reasonable level of existence. Health and diet should be carefully scrutinized this year, as physical resistance is low and you may become more susceptible to ailments. A tidying up of affairs is now in order, as you must make ready for a very hectic year ahead.

So, this is what I have to look forward to. I'm a little scared. But I think it'll be ok, right? Right?

Comment replies:
**Kimmie, baby steps is right! I get overwhelmed so easy, even just getting out of bed to face the day. But I stop and literally think to myself "one step at a time" it becomes do-able. Even just getting out of bed.**

Somewhere in the world...

2008-12-31T20:37:00.000-08:00

it is 2009. A couple of my resolutions (all completely do-able, I think):

be wiser with money
return emails more quickly
respond to blog comments (either through email or here)
actually DO the things on my to-do lists
finish projects I've started
repaint the boys' room
walk to get healthier
eat healthier
and possibly the most important...
be more positive!

So Happy New Year to everyone! Be safe and have fun!

Peace out!

Comment replies:
**Anja, you said you'd help me paint their room! So our lists are the same! ha ha ha**

I hired a personal blogger...

2008-12-09T09:53:00.000-08:00

and she hasn't been doing her job. She will be let go.

Anyway, over here in my world we're just getting ready for Christmas. Exciting, I know. Here's a breakdown in case you're interested:
● Working on an 8x8 scrapbook for a gift.
● Took down all the regular household brick-a-brack (is that how that's spelled?) to prepare for Christmas decorations.
● Have most of the shopping done.
● Made a gingerbread house
● Penguin lawn decorations are set up (I'll get pics of them later)

I still have lots to do. Small stuff. I'm also revamping the photos above our entertainment center. Painting frames black for that. Changing out pics. I just got tired of the old stuff, which has been there for way too long. It'll be nice to have new stuff to look at. Art from friends, art from fave etsy artists, art from the husband (most of the pics around the house were taken by me...but I spend a lot of time here, shouldn't I get to see my own pics that I love?)

Ok, so now this post is old news. I wasn't finished and just saved to drafts. So all of those things are done (well, mostly) but have been replaced by a new list. Isn't that how lists work? I'll put it on my list to research the dynamics of lists.

I'll try to post more. Haven't I been saying that for a long time? :D

Peace out!

To All my Internet Friends:

2008-11-26T22:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm counting you all in my blessings. Have a safe and wonderful day with your loved ones.

Peace out!

PS: Back in 2001 a group of wonderful ladies joined together on Yahoo to chat about scrapbooking and life and whatnot. We all became good friends! But the last couple years we've spoken less and less. This week one of the members, Anna, contacted us and invited us to become a group once again, this time on Facebook. I joined and quickly found my newest, older, and oldest friends again. Isn't the internet amazing? So if you wanna link me on Facebook, click on my link over there ---> and add me!

PPS: I also added a "follow my blog" thing below the clock. So if you wanna see what's up when I post a new post, click there, okie dokie?

Dwigt

2008-11-08T21:28:00.000-08:00

●Search and replace doesn't work on misspelled words. Referring to two episodes of The Office...the pic is something Pam made in art school that makes me laugh. :D

●So what up, blog land? Not much here. That's about it! Watching Season 4 of The Office, doing a little bit of digital scrapbooking, etc etc.

●Had some Halloween fun. The usual. School parade. Candy. Trick or Treating. More candy. Click on that for a bigger photo.

●That's about it! This must be the shortest blog post ever (at least on my blog!)

●Peace out!

Weekend Frenzy

2008-10-26T01:10:00.001-07:00

Well, it was really only a frenzy for a person who has recently become something of a homebody. Have not had the desire to leave the house for anything but picking up the kids from school. So going to breakfast, Franklin Covey (got THE cutest calendar pages for my planner!), the costume store to finally get E his costume, and then the shoe store to get some proper shoes for idiotic foot structure.

This you may or may not know...I honestly can't remember ever having a pair of comfortable shoes. Sure, I've had less-painful, tolerable, mediocre shoes. But for my high-arched, anatomically-skewed, wide-as-the-Grand-Canyon excuses for feet, I needed something special. I found that at New Balance. Walking shoes. That hopefully won't have me in tears after walking two miles. They felt like heaven in the store, so keep your fingers crossed that they will live up to their rep. They have amazing arch support and some sort of metal rod in them to improve the step. They look a little strange, but as long as I don't feel like having a foot-ectomy after walking, they could be neon orange and I wouldn't mind.

As for the Halloween costumes...I had hoped my boys wouldn't be enticed into the freaky/gory/scare the sweet bejesus out of children costumes. But that seems to be the case. Last year E had a gladiator costume complete with a mask that had such a disconcertingly blank stare, I refused to let him wear it at home. This year he has some sort of grim reaper which is not much better. At least it isn't that horrifying mask from the movie "Scream", which I saw eons ago and that mask still brings tears of fright to my eyes. I never wished for a girl child so much as this Halloween costume dilemma; I would gladly shell out the ducats for a nice fairy princess costume. Or a hippie.

Word of the day: pu-pu. Pronounced poo-poo. Remember in A Bug's Life, the waitress in the tavern walks around and says "Who ordered the poo-poo platter?" and these flies all land on it and go to town chowing down? Very clever double meaning. It's actually a tray of Hawaiian hors de'ouevres.

So there you go.

Peace out!

Speaking of lists...

2008-10-18T00:05:00.000-07:00

So as I lay in bed after a really bad day during which we all seemed to be at each other's throats, I found that thinking of the things that make me laugh til my face hurts chased away the tears. Here are some of those things:
1) Bumper cars
2) Jumping on the trampoline
3) Teeter totters
4) Arcade racecar or motorcycle games
5) Listening to my little sister's stories
6) Looking at pics of my nephew where he's making hilarious faces (which seems to be nearly every photo)

Shows/Movies that make me laugh til my face hurts:
1) Along Came Polly (specifically the bathroom scene and the club scene, both with Ben Stiller)
2) Phoebe and Ms. Pacman
3) Jerry Seinfeld as Raif
4) The Scrubs cast does A Charlie Brown's Christmas
5) The faces of Jim Halpert from The Office
6) The Chinese Backstreet Boys singing "That Way"

Random things that make me giggle:
1) B saying "1.21 gigawatts!" said in the voice of Doc from Back to the Future
2) PJ's goofy dances
3) E's neverending, outrageous stories complete with talking-with-his-hands
4) Little inside jokes between me and my friends and family
5) Chats with Rhian-that girl is so funny!

I may add more. But that's it for now. Click the links. You won't regret it!

Lists, Lists, Lists

2008-10-15T22:43:00.001-07:00

My sweet friend Rhi and I had a hilarious chat about to-do lists the other day. Lists make me crazy. They really do. I write down all this stuff I need to do and then I basically don't look at the list again. Or rarely. It's almost like my brain figures that once it's written down, it's done.

The tricky part comes when I realized that I never did the things on the list. Didn't I do that already? No you weirdo, you didn't. I need a hand to come out of the list and slap me if I don't actually do the thing.

Oh, and sometimes, to make myself feel like I did something productive, I add things I've already done to the list, and cross them out. See! I did something! Proof!

Today I did do a few things that were on my list. Held some books at the library (then I will pick them up when they are set aside for me, very handy!), got some stuff to finish a very late birthday gift, and did the dishes <--- one of those things I add later to make it seem like I did more. I also dropped off a utility payment, called and paid a bill over the phone (also very handy), checked out a new quilt shop, called in an rx refill, looked around for a photosafe pencil...all before NOON! See, I did something!

Whatever works, right?

Where DID you get those peepers?

2008-10-08T08:44:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure, but they ARE splendid, don't you think?

That's my niece, I got to tend her for the day last Saturday. She's such a hoot! I lost my phone (it fell down in the couch) and I was like "H, where's my phone?" and she goes "Phone, where are you?" lol We were looking out the window at the rain and she was totally bummed that everything was getting wet. She kept saying "oh-oh, wet" and "rain". And while we were looking out the window, we heard a car honk twice, and she goes "beep beep" and then I said it and then she said it and we just laughed and beeped. It was so cute! And then when my sister-in-law got here to pick her up, as they were leaving, she said "see you". See? A hoot, I tell you!

That's one of the things I miss about having small kids. My boys were hilarious and always making me laugh with the things they said, and the way they said it. They still say hilarious things though, so I still get the laughs. But the way small kids say such things, so fun!

Like the other day, we were walking home, and E (out of nowhere) said he likes fog. I was like, why? Then he tells me the fog gives him a "moisturizing sensation". lol I think those were the words he used, I'll double check. But he definitely said 'moisturizing'.

I write down these things they say, I have for years. Anytime I need a laugh, I go read some of them. It's as close as I will get to having them be small again, I guess.

I am so glad I have pictures and the little snippets of the things they said. And now I have the little things she says and does that make me laugh. This little girl cracks me up and makes me smile, and I absolutely adore her for that!

So there you go. Enjoy the little people in your lives. They won't be so little for very long. :D

And your point is???

2008-10-03T01:25:00.001-07:00

The weather has been cooler. Sort of. The afternoons are a little warm, but otherwise the days are nice. I adore fall. I wish it could be fall all year. No extreme hot, no extreme cold. I like spring, but not as much as fall because I know the extreme hot is coming. And yes, I know that with fall, the extreme cold is coming, but I much prefer the cold. Heat just makes me feel icky. Bleh.

So the picture up there is an odd tree I found in the parking lot at B's work. It's like half and half. Weird, huh? Click on it to see the full photo.

That would be the first time I've used the camera in a long time, to take pictures of something other than my quilt or one of my self-portraits (and I even missed a week, but I didn't beat myself over it. I missed one in 66 weeks. I deserved the break).

So I've been quilting. Playing Brain Age, CrossworDS, and Solitaire Overload (mostly just for golf and freecell) on my Nintendo DS. Best investment in the world people! If you don't have one, I highly recommend it. I have a lot of puzzle games for mine. Actually, the only non-puzzle game I have is the Sims and that got boring PDQ.

Speaking of Sims, I've been playing the old skool Sim City (from 1001) that we downloaded for our Wii. So fun! Back in high school when I was getting really bad sinus infections, I'd skip my afternoon classes and B and I would go to his house and play Sim City and F-Zero. So naturally, whenever I get a sinus infection (still after this long!) I get the urge to plop and veg and be a captain of industry. It's fun. We have newer versions of the game, but the old one is way easier and we know the cheat code to get $999,999 dollars. Usually you start out with $20,000 and rely on taxes and whatnot to build and stuff. I like to completely cover my land with park though, and that takes a lot of money. And it the little neighborhoods and factories and train tracks (less pollution, see?) have to be in perfect alignment. Except for waterfront properties...I treat my residents right and give them beach and views. Sometimes there's a plane crash. And you get libraries and casinos and amusement parks. Very relaxing.

I've been on antibiotics of the strong variety for about a week. The ones I was on early last month did enough to get me through our trip and some, but my infection came back with a vengeance and I went in and got on the good stuff. It has some odd side effects (I've never farted so much in my life!) but I think it's doing its job. I hope.

I really need to post more often, so the posts are shorter. See, when I go to a blog, and I see big chunks of text in a post, I get overwhelmed. And here I am, doing the very same thing to you. I'm sorry! I will try to post more often!

And thanks to my peeps who still visit and comment. I love you guys! I really do! So I will end this post now and see you in a few days!

Peace out!
--J

Busy Busy!

2008-09-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

Working madly on two quilts, one for charity (which I will upload a photo of sometime this week) and one for my sister in law. The charity one I had to handtie, which I am not crazy about, but I think it looks great! The other one I took to the quilt store for the most amazing longarm quilter in the universe to do for me.

I am so glad those two things are done! They were big projects, weighing on my poor, overtaxed brain for months and months.

I also have stories galore from our trip to Montana (including a treacherous hike in which I tumbled down a shale slide and got pretty banged up), Yellowstone (where we saw several large animals cross the road right in front of us), the Tetons (hello, is Jenny Lake the MOST beautiful lake EVER? I think so!) and all the while in excruciating pain from the fall which happened on the 2nd day of vacation. Still recovering. Hurts to breathe, may have injured my ribs. I also have this rattle in my chest when I cough, which is probably unrelated to the rib thing, but it makes my ribs hurt very badly.

So I have some more quilting to do. Dentist appointments. Boys go back to school next Monday. Birthday packages to ship. Photos to take of SD cards, but not sure how (different camera and file format than we usually do). Busy busy!

TTFN!

To Clarify...

2008-09-02T09:16:00.000-07:00

my last post.

I honestly do not send the holiday cards in hopes that the doctors will call in rxs for me or anything. I send them because I am truly grateful for them; I know (as my friend kimmy pointed out...and I'm glad she did) that there are, umm...less grateful patients out there. Patients who act as though the doctors should be or are superheroes and when they run behind in their schedules, it's unacceptable. I know that's not the case at all. I also know that when the doctor would 'squeeze me in', it caused him to run late, and risk getting scolded by the other patients. So for that, added to all the other things they do for me, I am grateful.

And I'm also not one of those people that will call every doctor they know til they get what they want. When the nurse called me back from the doctor's office I'd never seen, and said that not only could they not call in an rx, nor see me anytime before Sept 15, I was geared up to go to the urgent care to be seen.

So I called my gyn office to get the results of my blood work for my thyroid, and figured, hey, why not at least ask? My motto (if I have one) is that it never hurts to ask. I fully expected her to say no and to say I'd need to be seen first.

This morning, my regular GP was in and the nurse called bright and early and said he'd squeeze me in as soon as I could get in, even though he didn't have any openings. I told her that I'd called my gyn office and they called in an rx for me. And she said ok and we hung up.

But I felt badly...I didn't want her to think I am one of those people who would call around til someone did what I wanted. So I called her back, and told her that. And I explained in a little more detail what happened, and that I was going to go to the urgent care place. She and the doctor (whom she had told our conversation) were both cool about it and glad I got what I needed and not to worry about it, they know I'm not like that.

So anyway, just wanted to clarify that.

Never Underestimate the Power of Greeting Cards

2008-08-30T22:14:00.001-07:00

And I am totally serious here people!

Of 3 doctors, 2 of whom I see regularly (gyn and GP) are totally willing to call in an rx of antibiotics for my chronic sinus infections without seeing me, since I only call when I am certain I have one (maybe twice a year total). The 3rd doctor is in the same practice as my GP. The two that would call them in without seeing me first are doctors I send Christmas cards to every year. Cheesy? Maybe. Heartfelt? Yes.

You see, for about 3 years we didn't have any health insurance. And lots of medical issues. So they would give me samples to avoid pharmacy full-price expenses, draw blood for tests so I wouldn't have a separate bill for labs, avoided ordering costly tests that I believe they might have done if we had the insurance, etc etc. And not just for me. My whole family. So I am eternally grateful to them for that.

Coincidence? I think not.

And to clarify, my GP was out of town or he would have called in the rx. So I ended up calling my gyn office about some other blood work and figured since I had the nurse on the line, why not ask about the antibiotic? Never hurts to ask, right? And if she said no way, I'd make do without, since neither had an opening for that sort of problem in the foreseeable future.

But in that 3rd doctor's defense, even though I had been seen by another doctor in his practice, I hadn't personally seen him, though I believe that one or both of my kids has. So I get why he wouldn't.

I am content to believe it's because of the Christmas cards though. :D

And thank you for the commiseration on my last post. I beat myself up more than necessary, so I definitely don't need it from some outside force. It all worked out though.

When the Hour is None

2008-08-27T22:04:00.001-07:00

I've always liked that phrase for some reason. Maybe because it implies that time can be nothing, or maybe stopped, even for a fraction of a second. Or an hour. I guess an hour.

Just finished reading a fantastic book called My Name is Will by Jess Winfield. Parallel eras. Drugs. Shakespeare. Excellent read. Might want to remove the dust jacket while reading as it does clearly state 'sex, drugs and Shakespeare' on the Bard's forehead right on the cover art.

It seems I've become the type of person who is terrible at being independent. I have this God-awful list of shit to do, and yet, during the times I should be shit-doing, I'm doing nothing. Afraid of my shit list. Seriously. I cannot handle one thing on it. Well, maybe the smallest things. But the list seems so...what's the word...inconceivably overpowering that it threatens to swallow me whole if I engage it.

I also cannot make any decisions while shopping for some lame reason. Every time I go to Target or something, I have to call my lovely husband to make a decision on something so random and mundane. And when I realized that, I was sickened and ashamed. So today, I went to Costco, made a decision on some t-shirts for our upcoming trip (since I have 3 shirts to my name, I would like to have a few more so no repeats shirt-wise). I selected 3 of these tie-dye ones, and they don't have dressing rooms. So I got them knowing I might end up bringing them back. Then I saw the two-pack of fitted t's that just called out to me, so I got them too. Knowing I might end up bringing those back. While the tie-dye ones make my jugs look nice, they are too tight around my waist. Pity, they are so cute. The other 2 make my jugs look smaller than my belly, which is more honest, but they fit better. So I am keeping those.

Back to my point, I made these decisions (as well as to take the 3 cute ones back) all by myself!!! Gold star for Jocelynne? No. As soon as I told my lovely husband of the shirt debacle, I was scolded most severely as apparently I was warned last week that we can get no extra ANYTHINGS to save for the trip. Nevermind the fact that I desperately need t-shirts, nevermind the fact that any time I've bought myself a necessity I end up taking it back out of guilt in lieu of something my family needs more, nevermind the fact that I'm taking the 3 back; the two I am keeping are apparently an extravagance the likes of which have never been recorded in history.

So I pouted. And I'm mad. At being spoken to that way. Hmph.

And in addition, I've apparently pinched a nerve in my neck which has been sending excruciating pains down my arm and burning in my shoulder. Lovely.

So, my dear internet peeps, it has not been a most joyous week, I am sad to say. And yesterday I had one of my lovely crying jags whereupon I burst out crying for seemingly no reason and every reason simultaneously.

Here's to a better rest-of-week and hopefully I've not brought you all down to the bottom of the barrel with me. Who will throw the rope if you're all down here with me?

Peace.

PS Click on the pic to be taken to the full-size version. Just a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor.

Bad Friend

2008-08-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad friend since I started using this laptop. I need all my old links on here and in the meantime, I intended to use the links on my blog to keep up with blogs. Well, it hasn't happened. Same with email addresses. The email program I'm using on the laptop is the a very basic thing, and it doesn't have any of my contacts. Grr.

So I hope everyone will forgive me! It basically comes down to the fact that I am probably the laziest person on the face of the earth. Seriously. Or maybe it's just a summer thing.

I gotta go to the mall and hopefully find a decent pair of non-RX sunglasses as mine fell in the river/stream in Big Cottonwood Canyon on Friday. Lovely. I get migraines in direct sunlight (even cloudy days now that I think of it), so I've been forgoing my contacts to wear my RX sunglasses. So I can't see at night or in the house during the day, unless I wear my sunglasses around the house. And that just seems weird to me.

I decided I'm not cut out for manual labor. Or at least two days of manual labor. My back and feet hurt like you would not believe. We laid some sod our neighbors gave us on a small area in our backyard.

I've also been dogsitting (is it dog sitting if you leave them at their house and go put them in and let them out and feed and play and bring in mail and water flowers?) for my brother- and sister-in-law. I'm usually rather uncomfortable around dogs, but this has been a great way to get used to them better. Love the little one, Pookie. She's a Boston Terrier and she's the perfect size and has the cutest personality. She looks at you with her head tilted and ears up, like "what are you doing?" Cracks me up! The other dog Roxie is a Boxer, and she's a little too big for my comfort. I swear, I must have had a bad experience with a dog when I was little and I blocked it out. I should ask my mom. I'm extremely weary of dogs. But maybe it's like with kids, people are weary of other people's kids til they have their own. Who knows?

Well, I better get. Places to go and housework to avoid. You understand. Right?

Cricket Serenade

2008-08-06T23:25:00.000-07:00

crickets serenade me
they sing their songs
in the dark part of the day
a nice contrast to the sting
of my blistered fingers
blistered from cutting
the unwanted growth in nature

it's too warm for sheets
too cool for the fan
stuck in the middle
of being asleep
and being uncomfortable

sleep eludes me
and on the nights
when sleep eludes me
i realize just how much
i hate how my brain is wired
how much i long to be outside
myself
even for a short time

i know that won't happen
can't happen
so i shall lie and listen
to the crickets serenade me

Now...

2008-08-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry, it took me a few days to get off my lazy butt and photograph the pages and get them loaded. Click here to go to the 52 weeks mini book! Though it's not really 'mini' anymore. It's fat. I need to take a side photo.

Also, I didn't finish week 32. I think I messed up the page the first time and ended up starting over, and I haven't printed a new picture for that page yet. No biggie!

Peace out!

Prayers and peaceful thoughts...

2008-07-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

please, for my friends Monica and Kimberly. Both are having rough times right now (understatement of the century) and I know they would appreciate all the help they can get.

My heart aches for them...one I've met and love, one I haven't met and love. And their families, because when one member of a family is in crisis, it affects the whole family.

Thank you peeps!

In other news, I finished my 52 weeks album! YAY! It's fat and messy and I LOVE it! I shall post the remaining pages over on my SIStv gallery...the link should be over to the right. Such a huge project and I'm glad it's complete! As you may also know, or not, I am doing the 52 weeks project again, for a second year. And I plan to do the pages as I go instead of trying to do it all massively.

My boys began 5th and 3rd grades. I am a mom to a 5th and a 3rd grader. Umm. That seems weird to me. Sheesh! Oh, and get this, E and I have the same size feet. I kid you not. Barefoot, side by side, same size feet. I must take a photo before his feet surpass mine.

Virtual Vitamin C thoughts to my friend Jen K. who has succumbed to a summer cold. I do hate those and I am glad I haven't had one yet (knock on wood).

My friend Mike is the new sheriff in town, or at least switching cities, so really just a cop in a new town. He's been a cop for a long time. I just wanted to say that sheriff thing cuz they always say it on tv.

My sister's family in Texas came down with cryptospiridium from a lake they swam in before coming to visit Utah. Last year, Utah had 1900 confirmed cases of this parasite, mostly in public pools and so far this year, the public pools are clean. Yay!

My mum (I got that spelling from my UK friend Rhian and I love it, so I'm using it more) seems to be doing better. Surprising due to the severity of the heart attack she had. It's left us all with questions, but do we need the answers if everything seems to be ok? I haven't called or seen her as much as I should, mostly because of B's surgery and post-op care. I had a hard time getting the bandages to work this time, last time I was quite proud of my handiwork, but this time? Not so much.

Speaking of which, I have a bit of a crush on B's podiatrist. What will I do when B is completely healed and it's no more Dr S? I keep teasing that my toe hurts, I better go see Dr S, or my ankle hurts, I better go see Dr S. lol B just rolls his eyes and laughs. He says if Dr S doesn't know about my crush, he must be blind or an idiot, because apparently, I am subconsciously flirting with him. Ugh! It's all harmless, so don't get all your panties in a bunch. :D

Movies. We saw "The Bank Job"...excellent film people! Watch it! I am now enamored with Jason Statham (no clue if I spelled that right), the lead in that film. We also watched "Reign over Me"...yes, old news, I know. I really think Adam Sandler did an amazing job with this serious role. Not like Spanglish, which I think sucked. But this was a whole other side of him and I am impressed! And you gotta love Don Cheadle. That guy acts so well, that it doesn't even seem like he's acting! Like in "Crash". His delivery is flawless, and so seamless, it's amazing. He's either a total genius, or he's really good at playing off the other characters. Incidentally, both "The Bank Job" and "Reign over Me" have the same actress, her first name is Saffron, I don't know her last name though. Like that song..."I'm just mad about saffron, and saffron's mad about me. They call me mellow yellow. Quite rightly." Saffron. Now that's a cool name.

Crickets chirping, time for sleep. Gotta get my beauty rest for the a.m. visit with Dr S. ;)

Favorite Lyrics Part 8

2008-07-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

Superman (It's Not Easy)
by Five for Fighting

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me

I'm more than a bird:I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It's not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I'll never see

It may sound absurd:but don't be naive
Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed:but won't you conceed
Even Heroes have the right to dream
It's not easy to be me

Up, up and away:away from me
It's all right:You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy:or anything:

I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me

It's not easy to be me.
-----------------------

Why do I like this song, you ask? I think it's an important reminder that the people we look up to or idolize or try to emulate are just people dealing with their own shit. I've always held firm to the idea that, while I admire certain people, I wouldn't go so far as to call them heroes, because that's putting them on a pedestal they may not want to be on. There are so many expectations on people, especially celebrities or popular figures in the media, that I think we as the general public forget that they still have to poo and brush their teeth every day, just like the rest of us.

Puts it in perspective.

And again, that photo really has nothing to do with this post. I couldn't find anything to go with the song lyrics. So you get an old school Fisher Price Little People playing hopscotch. Click on the image to go to the full size version, if you please.

Peace out blog peeps!

Toe, Part 2 (really long, but possibly interesting!)

2008-07-18T23:04:00.001-07:00

So the Mr had his left big toe bones fused like he had done with his right big toe. Man, those people at the outpatient surgery center really need to get their act together and schedule better. Or maybe it was the surgeon, who is consistently way behind on appointments. Or the people that do his scheduling. Anyway. The surgery was scheduled for 2 pm, They told us to get there at 1 for paperwork, not realizing that the same excruciatingly detailed questionnaire had already been done the last time. So we sat in the lobby and waited and waited and waited and waited and waited. Finally got called back to the 'gown room' as I shall call it. This is where the anesthesiologist and surgeon come to discuss the procedure with the patient prior and go over any last minute questions, and also where the patient changes into a gown. This time we had the boys with us the whole time, and we waited and waited and waited and waited. We took goofy pics of B looking like a pregnant mom in her gown about to have a baby (again!), played emesis basin ball (I put one of those little pink puke trays in the corner, gave each of the boys a paper towel to ball up, and see who could make their ball stay in the tray). (I think I could be persuaded to sell that picture for the right price! lol)

Finally, when the little boys couldn't handle the waiting, we bid adieu to B and left to go eat. This was at 3:15 or so. I stopped the nurse in the hallway and asked about when he would go back (30-45 minutes, and how long the surgery would be (I swear she said an hour) so we calculated that we should be back at 4:30. So we went to eat and then went to Kmart to do some pics in the old school photo booth they have, as well as look at school supplies. We got back to the hospital at about 4:50-ish. He was just barely going into recovery part one. It's a good thing his dr is incredibly hot (at least I think so) or this scheduling thing would be a lot worse. ;) We met with the dr to go over the surgery and stuff.

We were literally the last people there. They had actually locked the lobby. Well, why not? It was 5:30. So the nurse took us back to the recovery part two area and set us up with some cold beverages and about 20 minutes later B came out, barfing. Bleh. The dr told me that the regular sedation they use for that procedure (as they used last time) didn't quite work, and B kept kicking and resisting, so they unexpectedly had to put him under a general instead. Hence the barfing.

All the while P is messing with this damn wheelchair, making this clanking sound that was irritating the hell out of me. E kept changing the channel on the tv and making weird sounds. I was snapping at them, P kept getting upset and crying and running into the other room. Ugh! Such a different experience from the last time! B is barfing and I'm trying to keep the boys from seeing that, only they won't mind and kept going around to watch, therefore getting nearly ill themselves. Kids!!!

So we finally get B in the car, and partway home, he says he's going to barf. I realized the puke tray we took from the place was in the trunk, and told him to just wait, I'd pull over. But he couldn't. So as B is barfing, P is screaming in HORROR and I'm screaming P's name over and over to chill. I pull over, get P out of the car and tell him to sit on the grass, open the trunk, dump all the crap out of B's plastic clothes bag, and run over with it. The 7-11 hot dog box B grabbed to catch the stuff wasn't up to the task. He let loose in the bag.

Ok, back on the road. B has his bag, P is calm. We pull into the driveway and B starts hurling again. Luckily P was asleep and woke up as we pulled in, I jumped out, pulled open his door, told him to hop out quick (which he actually did!) so we wouldn't have another screaming fit. Finally got B into the house.

Now let me tell you about the first time (right toe). Went to the surgery center, filled out the paperwork, promptly called back to the gown room, took goofy pics of B in gown looking pregnant, met with anesthesiologist and surgeon, they took him back, I drove home to get the boys from school, came back to the surgery center where we were promptly called back to the recovery part two room, sat for about 20 minutes, drove him home, and settled in.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED??? I guess when you're having the same procedure twice, you have certain expectations for the second one. My advice: don't. Assume each thing will have its own problems or lack thereof, and go with the flow.

And once again, the photo has nothing to do with the post. :D
Peace out!

I SSOOO Need This

2008-07-16T15:08:00.000-07:00

A hamburger phone a la Juno. The only glitch is that I don't have a land line. I wonder if the company would consider making a hamburger cell phone? I would be first in line for that bad boy. Oh yeah.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

2008-07-14T14:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I stopped in at Costco to drop off a roll of film to be processed. In line ahead of me is a lady with a baby, and apparently she and the employee knew each other. So the employee takes the baby and is all oogly-googly at the baby, and I since I was next in line, I commented on how absolutely adorable the baby was. She even had her little piggies painted purple! Aww! And she had the most beautiful eyes, and knuckle dimples! And thigh rolls! Aww!

Ahem...

I digress. Anyway, so we're all just gabbing about this cute baby, and finally the mom (whom I suspect only stopped there to show off the baby) said her goodbyes and walked away.

And then, it was like a switch had been turned off in the employee. She was curt, bordering on rude with me. When just seconds before we were giggling at the baby's little fingers and stuff. It stunned me! I filled out the envelope according to her minimal instructions (name. phone number. check this box.) and she walked off. When she returned I asked how long for that to be ready. (one hour.) So I started to walk away and she says one last thing to me. (2:20.) I was like, "huh?" She'd already told me an hour. But whatev.

So anyway, it just irritated the hell out of me that she was all sugar when the girl and the baby were there. The second they left, she was all salt.

So tell me...what was with the attitude? Is it because I jumped into their baby-gushing? If that's the case, it's BS. Babies are cute. I can't change what's coded into my DNA and stop 'awww'-ing over babies. Or was this some rare glimpse into her non-employee, sugary sweet personality I shouldn't have seen? Or did she realize once the baby was gone, she had to deal with a line of customers?

Color me baffled. Human behavior fascinates me usually. But she just baffled me and made me sort of mad.

And on another note: thanks for all the sympathy and comments about my mum. I know in the grand scheme of life, things could have been much, much worse. I'll try to get back to everyone soon. :D

Peace out blog peeps!

(The photo really has nothing to do with the post, but that's my sweet niece and figured hey, this post needed some cuteness, right? lol)

Some kind of July (so far!)

2008-07-12T14:17:00.001-07:00

I've been spending less time online lately, and some of you may know why. My mom had a pretty serious heart attack early (like 1 am) on June 30th. She was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital, where she had a stent placed in her heavily clogged artery. We also later found out she had pneumonia (possibly walking pneumonia) but didn't find that out until she was discharged. So she was on the breathing tubes for that whole Monday. It's always hard to see someone in that condition. She seemed able to hear me and tried to speak, but for the most part she was really out of it. The next day she was awake and somewhat coherent. Tubes out. She knew we were there and she spoke in a whisper. The following day she was a little better, actually kind of grumpy and irritable about her shoulders hurting and her throat.

Thursday morning as we prepared to go visit we had a call from my dad, they were releasing her. We were all quite shocked by this, we'd all planned for a longer stay. And the oddest thing? She was in the ICU the entire time. She was released straight from the ICU! We were flabbergasted! We thought surely she'd have been moved to a regular room for a bit of recovery. But apparently she had improved so well, that they just sent her home. Color us perplexed! So we went to see her on Friday, the 4th and spent a few hours. She seemed fairly normal. Still had a cough from the pneumonia and she'd lost what little voice she had, so we really had to listen hard to hear her.

I spoke with her this morning (I've actually talked to her a bunch of times, mostly short 'how are you doing?' type calls so as not to stress her voice) but today we had an actual conversation. She seems to be bouncing back really well. We have trouble visiting due to her smoking (yes, even after this whole thing, but she seems to have cut back) and the smoke really messes us up. I get migraines and my little one gets a cough.

So after all that, doing my regular online things (reading blogs, looking at photos, etc) didn't seem quite so important. I took some time to read. Watched mindless TV. And grasped the reality that a)my mom's artery probably does look like the one I saw on that quit-smoking ad all those years ago; the one I couldn't watch after the first time because it made me sick to be looking at my mom's artery. b)this near miss didn't make her stop smoking. c)her smoking will probably what kills her. d)I don't think she will ever stop smoking and that makes me incredibly sad. Even now, I looked for that commercial to link here, and I watched a small portion and I nearly vomited, so I didn't link it.

Anyway...

This lovely image brought to you by the California wildfire smoke drifting into Utah, making our sunsets blood-red. While they are beautiful, it's still rather tragic. I myself have seen the benefit of the fires that raged in Yellowstone in 1988 (someone correct me if I have the year wrong), but I'm not sure California will benefit in quite the same way. Especially since they've had the fires two years in a row. It's just heartbreaking! Insignificant words from someone who can't really do anything to help, but still...

We went to the park the other day to play ball. Well, balls, really. Kicked soccer balls, tossed footballs, and played a little Frisbee. Can I just say that I LOVE Frisbee? I am so glad it was invented! It's like, almost the only sport I'm good at. I think I'm good at croquet too, but it's been a while since I played it. I took my Fisheye camera to the park that day and I can't wait to see what images I caught with it! Gotta take the roll of film to Costco to be developed. I LOVE that camera people! It's so much fun!

Well, I guess that's all for now. I'll try to update more often. I'm still trying not to vomit from that video. Bleh. Every time I think about it...

Ok, peace out!

Do you ever wonder...

2008-06-18T16:18:00.000-07:00

what people are doing when they don't blog for a while? Sometimes I think they are off doing wonderful, exciting things. Like hiking Mt Everest. Or kayaking the Colorado. Or baking cookies.

Not me. I've not done anything except try not to melt.

Scratch that. I've been reading. A lot. See that coolio link I added over to the side? It's a site that keeps track of books you're reading, you want to read, you've read, and you can rate and review the books. And you can also add people as friends (yeah, I know, you can't go anywhere without this function nowadays!) but it's totally cool because the people I've added as friends have led me to some awesome books!

So I paid up on my library card. And checked out books and cds.

I used to be quite the bookworm and if I really get into a book, I have a hard time putting it down and even going to sleep! And then I will read it for hours on end and give myself what I call a 'reading headache'. Sucks! But oh well! lol I'm glad I'm reading again. A couple years ago I read about 50 books in one year. I kept track just to see. And then it didn't seem to be about the books anymore, it became about the numbers. Plus, I didn't know where to go to get good book recommendations.

I'm a book nerd. I'm ok with it!

Here's a picture for you to look at. I know how posts without photos just bite! lol Click to view whole photo. This is from our Sunday daytrip to the Uinta Mountains. That whole place is just so gorgeous that the beauty almost overwhelms me. Almost. And it was the perfect temperature, especially for escaping the valley heat. There was blue sky, snow and a whole lot of clean, fresh air. Ahhh! Very invigorating!

I almost forgot! Check THIS out! I made a video about the robins!

That's all for now! Peace!

Riddle for you...

2008-05-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you take a sick girl who slept a lot in the day, and then couldn't sleep that night because she forgot to get her anxiety pills from the pharmacy?

Answer: ME! I could not sleep. It's been a long-ish night. Mostly I tried to at least rest, but even just laying there was hurting my head. I had a too-much-sun hangover (you know, that flu-ish, achy all over feeling) and felt like poop Tuesday night and Wednesday until about nine-ish. Then I just had a headache. And then suddenly it was 11 and I had no pills to make me tired. Damn!

There was a REALLY freaky bug in the house, plus a giant moth that could easily be mistaken for a small bird. The moth came into our room (since the lamp was on) and I wigged. Then that freaky, mutant mosquito thing came in and I doubly-freaked! B injured the moth, and it flew somewhere and died, I presume. The bug thing also disappeared, and B wussed out in fear and went to sleep in the living room. I, on the other hand, cannot sleep anywhere but my bed (most of the time) so I bravely soldiered on and covered my entire body except for my nose with my blanket. Finally, I decided to listen to some tunes, and I swear to all that is holy, that thing must have been perched somewhere, just waiting for a bit of light to flight toward. The Zen wasn't even on for one minute and the thing came at it. It brushed my eyebrow and I thought maybe it was the earbud cords, but then I saw it in front of the Zen screen and let out some sort of keen/wail/cry sound (which I couldn't hear very well cuz of the earbuds, but what it sounded like inside my head was awful) and I called for B and he came and murdalized it. We honestly have no clue what that thing was! bleh I hate mystery bugs!

Well, that's about it. I might go watch the sunrise. I feel like I should be packing to go fishing or camping, seeing as those are really the only times I'm up this early. :)

--J

Sweet Fancy Moses!

2008-05-16T21:42:00.000-07:00

I knew it had been a while since I blogged, but didn't realize just how long. Let's see...what have I been doing?

I have been watching what is happening with these:

Click to go to my flickr set to see for yourself!

I have been enjoying this Mother's Day gift:

The little lantern has a solar cell so after the sun goes down his lantern glows for a while. Isn't he cute?

And I've still been on the lookout for these:

Any funny signs. I took quite a few photos a couple weeks ago, but have seen more since so I need to go out and take more. This is one of my faves though.

I or we also:
☺ left MySpace (I have a regular blog, why did I need a MySpace page?)
☺ started a fairy garden
☺ planted a rosebush
☺ started my 52 Weeks Self Portrait album (which you can see here: 52 Weeks and that will be updated as I add pages.)
☺ have neglected any quilting for quite some time, just haven't been in the mood for it really. (and that should have a frownie, but I couldn't find one).
☺ added some stuff to my etsy shop.
☺ hung some heat and light blocking curtains to the kitchen, and they really do!
☺ got a laptop, for all of us, though B keeps referring to it as HIS. And it has a webcam, so we've been doing some little videos.
☺ joined twitter, which I don't fully understand yet. I think the disturbing part is the word 'following'. That has negative connotations for me.
☺ made some new friends on flickr, I can't believe the talent over there!

So that's about it, I guess. Sorry I went so long between posts. Really unusual for me, but I think I've summed it up quite nicely.

Peace!

Postcrossing

2008-04-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

So in a recent photojojo.com newsletter, they profiled a site called postcrossing.com. So I went over and checked it out. It's freakin amazing people! Ok, so you sign up. And for every postcard you send, you get one back! And not from the same person you sent to. Someone else sends you one. It's quite amazing actually, you can list a little about yourself, what languages you speak, and you can mention if you want postcards with a specific topic (which isn't guaranteed). But it's all done based on ID numbers. Each card is assigned an ID number, which you write on the card before sending it. And then when you receive a card, you register that you received it via the ID number on the card.

I've received 3 cards so far. One from Taiwan, one from Finland, and one from Michigan (you can choose whether you want cards from your own country or not.)

I absolutely LOVE snail mail, so this is just so awesome! And the postage stamps are pretty cool too.

So check it out if you want! And if you're into photography, go to photojojo.com and sign up for their newsletter. They are great! Short, to the point, and written so regular people can understand (and they're funny too).

Peace out peeps!

Snoozefest

2008-04-18T13:21:00.000-07:00

Click to view full photo

These tulips are pretty much baked now. But they were pretty last week. Nature is so bittersweet, isn't it?

Today I thought I had to be somewhere and I really didn't, so I was out and decided to stop at a park to chill. When I worked (for realsies, not my SAHM-job) I used to go find parks near my offices and go there to eat lunch in my car. I'd eat, then I'd put the seat back and take a little snooze. I loved it during spring when I'd roll down the windows a bit and there'd be a breeze. One of the places was actually a church, deserted during the day, and next to this huge field. So I'd hear the wind, smell the weeds, and hear the birds. Just enough white noise to send me into a little nap.

It was sort of like that today, except the wind was noisier and kept blowing this effing sign and making a clanging sound. And I didn't eat anything. And the back of my head REALLY hurt when I woke up. But otherwise, it was just like that church parking lot.

It's just weird to go from on-the-go-do-this-do-that to having these lulls where I have time to do something, but I don't want to, I just want to relax. Then I feel lonely and unneeded. WTH??? I swear, if anyone ever figures out my effed up brain, please be sure to let me know, won't you?

Well, I have an eye exam to study for. Cross your fingers! ;)

10 and MeMe5

2008-04-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my oldest E turned 10 years old. That time went so fast! He's almost as tall as me already too. He's a decade. He's in the double digits. He's stubborn (like me). He loves to read. He's still learning how to be a good person (isn't everyone though?). He's more giving and generous than he used to be. I love him so much!

Ok, enough sap.

MeMe Quiz: So here goes--the rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people, posts their names, and then leaves a comment on their blogs, letting them know they've been tagged.

Now for the fun part: =)

-What was I doing 5 years ago?
Pretty much the same thing I do now, sadly. Nothing overly exciting!

Five things on my to-do list today ( or things I did today):
1. Watch Juno
2. Pick up kids
3. Toss the birthday wrappings
4. Try to avoid the leftover cupcakes
5. Grill some chicken on the new BBQ

Five snacks i love:
1. Chocolate
2. 7 layer dip & chips
3. honey mustard pretzels
4. brownies
5. pop tarts

-Five things i would do if i were a billionaire:
1. pay off car
2. buy another car to replace our older one
3. maybe move to a newer, more energy-efficient house
4. travel to other countries
5. definitely give to charities

-Five bad habits I have:
1. Cussing
2. I'm impatient
3. nagging
4. (one's a secret)
5. I tend to cut people off when they're talking. I don't mean to really.

-Five places i have lived:
1. West Valley UT
2. West Jordan UT
3.
4.
5.

-Five jobs i've had:
1. Cashier at Eagle Hardware (now Lowe's)
2. Fashion Bug
3. medical insurance customer service
4. dental insurance customer service
5. Mom

-Five people I don't know very well and want to know more about
(a nice way of saying TAG!):
1. Michael Calanan (not sure if he will, but hey, never hurts to try, right???)
2. Kacy
3. Gloria (if she hasn't already done it!)
4. Rhian
5. Rachel (also not sure if she will, but maybe! lol)

That's all for now. I have 5 things I need to do. ;)

Isn't this pretty?

2008-04-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

glitter-graphics.com

I got it from glittergraphics.com. I wish I was talented like that! lol Granted, it's a glitter graphic, but it came from somewhere, right?

And this one:

glitter-graphics.com

And this one:

glitter-graphics.com

I truly...

2008-04-09T00:39:00.001-07:00

do not know how single parents handle a household. I am thoroughly exhausted by taking care of 4 people and it's starting to show in my response time to requests for extra pillows, juice, even just meals.

B is doing well. He didn't need any pain medication today. He volunteered to go with me on my errands to get out of the house for a bit, then we went to lunch. It was probably too much for his foot, but when we got back, he napped and seems to be fine.

This evening his brother and his wife brought over some DVDs for him to while his time away recovering, as well as some Coke and licorice. It was nice to have them over, even if the house was a mess (see above mentioned exhaustion).

I've been Spring cleaning my computer stuff. Contact lists on flickr, kind of closed down my myspace page in favor of this blog (though I LOVED the background I had set up over there, gotta see if there's a way to put that on here), deleted blogs I don't read anymore and those of people whom I respected at some point but turned out to be sort of snobs. Paring down the distractions, I guess you could say.

Painted a little bit of wood this evening to sell in my etsy shop. A cute chunky style dragonfly which I ended up getting on sale. It'll be hard to let that go, but I think I can manage. I'm really enjoying this little side endeavor. I also have some ideas for decorated picture frames, so I'll see how those fare in the shop.

Tomorrow I will be doing laundry, dropping off a roll of fisheye photos to be developed, and chatting with my girl Rhian hopefully, though I just realized she is most likely without internet still. Speaking of Rhian, she recently became a Fashionista for Scrap in Style TV. I'm so excited for her! I miss chatting with her though, so I hope she gets internet soon! (hint hint!)

What else...what else. No pics this post, but hopefully I can have some for next post.

E's birthday is coming up and right before B's surgery he offered to have E's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. And guess who's been too tired to even call and ask for pricing? Tomorrow. For sure.

Well, I guess that's it for this round.

Peace out!

I added...

2008-04-06T23:00:00.000-07:00

a couple things to my etsy shop. Go check it out if you want. No pressure.

That's all I have the energy to say right now. I have to go to bed. Feeling really worn out and weepy and just frazzled a bit. Stayed up a few extra to make sure B is asleep after a nasty pain flare-up in his foot. Think he stood on it too long. Delayed reaction to that. Nothing I could do but ice and time. I think. He's asleep now so it seems to have worked. And the percocet of course.

TTYL!

Captain of the Toes

2008-03-30T18:21:00.000-07:00

Friday...B is having

done. Ouch! And I couldn't illustrate the screw that will be placed inside his toe after they BREAK it. I'm only so talented with the Photoshop peeps!

Oy! Long story. Another day.

And I just got the reminder that my parents' wedding anniversary is coming up...on April 1st. Yes. That's correct. April 1st. Forty-one years I believe. That's like Hall of Fame worthy these days, isn't it? I thought I had a pic here of my parents on their wedding day. I'll see if I can dig it up, y'all will dig it. ;)

Favorite Lyrics Part 7

2008-03-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

An oldie, but a goodie...

I Can See Clearly Now
by Johnny Nash

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin for
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Look all around, there’s nothin but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day.

Peace out blog peeps!

Don't you think it would be cool...

2008-03-27T23:22:00.000-07:00

if you could choose your name once you decided what you liked?

I would probably go with the name Violet. Not because of that brat on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. For the color. And it looks cool in Kanji, doesn't it? Yeah, I think I'd go with that. And of course, purple is my favorite color, so it's fitting, isn't it?

It's easy to spell, not many variations, probably easy to understand over the phone, only 6 letters, there's a flower named violet...what's not to love? And I would get to say "V...as in Victor" which doesn't happen enough, really. That's fun to say. I get to say "B...as in boy" and "N...as in Nancy" and "C...as in cat" a lot, so they're worn out.

What name would you choose if you could?

Expectations of Reactions

2008-03-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

The picture doesn't go with the rest of the post, but it's my boys being completely bored on Easter. lol We left the grandparents' house soon after.

Anyway, the topic for today is Expectations. Most notably my expectations of how people will react to something I have given them as a gift. Especially if it's something I made. Or went to great pains to choose.

I'm not sure just how I can consistently under- or overestimate people's reactions. I mean, if I think they'll be sort of lackadaisical about the thing, they end up being overly ecstatic! And conversely, if I think they will be really excited about something, they end up being sort of, well, bleh about it.

It happens all the time. Maybe I am guessing their reaction would be the same as my reaction if things were reversed.

Let me at least say this much, I wasn't the only one confused by the reaction of the gift recipient. After intense questioning, B also said he wasn't sure what the person thought of the gift. The gift was a belated Christmas gift, which was not finished on Christmas, but I told the person that their gift was this item when it was finished. And that got quite the reaction, let me tell you! So B thinks maybe the reaction was so mellow just because the person already knew what it was.

We also aren't sure if maybe the person didn't say much due to being choked up over the gift.

I just felt kind of let down after this whole thing and now I wonder why I even do it? I know that giving is the best part, I really do. And I don't do it for the thanks. I do love the reactions though and I just wish I had a clear reaction to store away in my brain, you know?

Anyway, sorry I couldn't be more specific. I know it's me. I have to stop trying to anticipate people's reactions. I need to just be a blank canvas and accept whatever reaction I get. No matter how confusing it is.

So, my faithful blog-ience...does this happen to you too?

Some of my least favorite words...

2008-03-21T22:55:00.000-07:00

There are some words that people use quite often that really bother me. Firstly, is the word "just". As in "just a quick layout I did..." or "just an old favorite photo".

According the merriamwebster.com, the word "just" as an adverb means "barely, only, simply". It bothers me because I get the feeling with that one small word, that the artist doesn't feel like his/her art is worthy of much more than a glance. I feel like yelling "TAKE PRIDE IN THIS! DON'T BELITTLE IT BY STARTING OUT WITH 'JUST'!" To me, the word 'just' in this usage tells me they aren't confident in their work. I've been guilty of it too, but since realizing the negative connotation, I don't use it anymore. If I feel like it's worth posting, worth people looking at, worth my time to create, it's not just anything!

It's something!

My other pet-peeve words are (in regards to photography or art): "great work, as usual." I hope to never be at a point in my arts or crafts where someone has the urge to say that to me. To me, that means I'm not growing creatively. That I'm stuck, and I'm not getting better. As a photographer, crafter, etc, I want to grow, to improve, to experiment. I think it's more of a compliment for someone to be shocked and awed by something you've done. Break the mold, the expectations. Break out of 'as usual' and honestly, this is the best thing anyone could do.

What words bother you guys? I want to know!

Don't Mess with Me!

2008-03-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Bought this so I could walk on the parkway alone without feeling like a sitting duck. I really wanted a taser, but Big 5 doesn't sell those for some reason. We were joking that I could get an AK47-style paintball gun and it would have better results. It was just too bulky to carry though. Gotta have my arms free to do the 'mall walker' stride.

I asked my cop friend to tell me what the stats are for women being hassled in that area, and I didn't hear back from him, so I took that as bad news. I personally think that being overweight (read: chubby or fat) will deter most perps, but there are probably a few bad guys out there that wouldn't care about that.

But seriously...I do feel safer. I'm glad to have it.

Peace out!

For Sale...

2008-03-16T14:05:00.000-07:00

I'm going to sell prints of my photographs in my etsy shop. Click here for the photos I will offer as prints (obviously I don't want my family pics floating around out there). I'm pretty flexible as far as sizing goes, but I'd like to keep the proportions as close to original as possible. Also, if you'd like something in b/w, let me know.

Thanks all!

Peace out!

Thank you...

2008-03-04T23:32:00.000-08:00

You know who you are! And I love you for it!

Hugs and kisses all around!

Lone & Red

2008-03-03T21:40:00.000-08:00

Click to view larger in flickr

I'm realizing that people who say 'let me know if you need to talk' generally don't mean that. It's more along the lines of saying 'fine' when someone asks how you are, when you really aren't 'fine' at all.

There are a certain few people I know will listen if/when I need to talk. But I truly don't want to burden those people without the offered ears. And trust me people, sometimes I just need to talk. Maybe the talk won't be so pretty, most likely it'll be littered with f-bombs and s-bombs.

The few times I've reached out to those people who've offered their ears to me, I've been royally rebuffed. And that makes me scratch my skin.

Literally. I've got anxiety over God knows what, and I just wanted someone to listen, and when I bottle that anxiety...guess what happens. I scratch myself til I bleed and I pull hair from my head and hyperventilate.

I'm not saying this for pity or to freak anyone out or whatever.

All I'm saying is that if you offer to listen when someone needs to talk, be ready for that call.

And I can honestly say that every time I've said that very thing, I've meant it. I don't say that if I don't mean it, because I know how important that is.

Peace out all!

Happy Birthday to my Little Sis

2008-02-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

She's my little sister, although she is a bit taller than me, I believe. I was joking with her that if she'd been born one year earlier, she'd only be 8 years old this year. And she replied that she acts 8 sometimes.

We have fun! She tells me stories that make me laugh til I cry and my belly hurts. When she visits, she drives slow, cuz she's used to the traffic (or lackthereof) in the small town she lives in. She likes snowboarding, aliens, and frogs (I think, she used to anyway!)

Happy birthday little sis!

A few things!

2008-02-28T19:06:00.000-08:00

So happy for this sweet girl Rhian! And that is one of my favorite pics of her. Go check out her news!

Me and my sweet niece at her first birthday party. Such a little doll! She was tired and a little sick and she just snuggled up on me and played and then fell asleep. I can't even explain how much I adore her! She makes me smile!

No pics of the new car yet. I was going to do a fisheye but I used up the roll and haven't put a new one in yet. Digital has made me lazy! lol

And a tag!
You must post the rules before you give your answers.-
You must list one fact about yourself for each letter of your middle name.
Each fact must begin with that letter.-
If you don't have a middle name, just use your maiden name. -
After you've been tagged, you need to up-date your blog with your middle name and answers.-
At the end of your post, you need to tag one person for each letter of your middle name.
(Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and need to read your blog for details).

tagged by Gloria. She used her first name, I was going to do that too, but my first name is SOO long, and my middle isn't, but I don't want to put my middle name out in cyberspace. Hmm. I'll make up a name. And no, it's not my middle name.

o-overly emotional sometimes
l-loves photography
i-into crafts
v-very valuable
i-is hard on herself for a lot of stuff
a-always honest

this says i need to tag someone.
like 6 someones.
if it's not too lame for you
then i choose
rhian
monica
elizabeth
greta
kimmy
all of whom can be found to the right.
play if you want.
heck, it's always good to share a little something
about yourself. :)

Peace out peeps!

Happy Birthday Elizabeth!

2008-02-26T07:51:00.000-08:00

Today is my gorgeous friend's birthday...
Elizabeth! She loves vintage finds, she clips coupons for fun, loves all things zodiac (in astrology, not the killer), has the sweetest sunshine eyes, makes lists, loves Seinfeld with me and has the most beautiful heart in the world!

If you have a chance, pop over to her blog and wish her a happy birthday and scroll through her posts to get to know her a bit and drool over her vintage goodness!

Happy birthday Elizabeth! I can't recall how we came to be internet friends, but I'm so, so glad we did!

Love you!

PS: I borrowed the pic off flickr, I hope you don't mind Elizabeth! :)

If this bed's a-rockin...

2008-02-21T07:43:00.000-08:00

at 7:16 am it must be an earthquake.

The walls rumbled and the whole bed shook. B and I felt it, but the boys didn't. Nothing fell off the walls or anything. The town where it was apparently located (Wells, Nevada) had a lot of damage though.

There was a second, smaller one about 7:35 which we didn't feel at all.

We live near a municipal airport where they also have some military buildings, so they fly Apache helicopters quite often. When they come in low, all the glass things on shelves rattle a little. So when the whole bed shook, I knew it wasn't an Apache, which are quite loud and I can hear them coming.

Put Something In

2008-02-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

Put Something In

Draw a crazy picture,
Write a nutty poem,
Sing a mumble-gumble song,
Whistle through your comb.
Do a loony-goony dance
'Cross the kitchen floor,
Put something silly in the world
That ain't been there before.

by Shel Silverstein

Eta: I challenge everyone to take Shel's advice, and when you've done it, and it's something you can post, post it and the poem, and link me up to it! I wanna see!

Favorite Lyrics Part 6

2008-02-19T20:37:00.000-08:00

Another by Jewel, called I'm Sensitive.

I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things you say
It doesn't take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.
You always tell me that is impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why's it gotta be so complicated?
Why you gotta tell me if I'm hated?
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.
I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we can give it to people who have some faith
So please be careful with me, I'm sensitive
And I'd like to stay that way.
I have this theory that if we're told we're bad
Then that's the only idea we'll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
'Cause anyone can start a conflict
it's harder yet to disregard it
I'd rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me 'cause I'd like to stay that way

Weekend

2008-02-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

Click any of those for larger images in flickr.

Finished the charity quilt (it turned out so cute! I hope whomever gets it will love it as much as I do!). Got my hair cut (16-18 inches!!!). Bought a car (a charcoal gray Mazda6!!!). That's about it!

Peace out!

For Sweet Little 'H'

2008-02-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

Click to see full photo on flickr.

So, this is weird. I went to see my GYN a couple months ago due to a feminine problem, and my regular GYN had stopped seeing non-OB patients. So I saw this midwife (you can see a midwife for general GYN visits, I had no idea!) So I started seeing her. She was super nice. Got me going on my thyroid meds again, did my annual exam (is it still an annual if the last time I had one was 2004?), etc etc.

The other day I call to follow up on my thyroid and stuff, and they tell me she has left their practice and moved to an office quite some distance away, and has taken her patient files with her.

I called and left a message for her nurse, and have not gotten a call back. But at this point, I'm already irked because if I had KNOWN she was moving, I would have asked her to a)leave my file at the old practice or b)sent my file over to my GP. Because both issues I was having can be handled by my GP. I was only going thru her since she did my annual exam.

So anyway, I'm irritated. That my original GYN never told HIS patients he was not going to see non-OB patients anymore, that the new doctor left without telling her patients, that I've never been called back regarding things she was handling before her move. I'm going to stop in to my GP's office and ask that my records be transferred.

That's all for today! Peace out!

52 Weeks...Week 33...

2008-02-08T11:32:00.000-08:00

Click to see full photo on flickr.

Thanks for the comments girls! My neck is one of my least favorite spots on my body, but this photo actually made it look good! Seductive? I'll take your word for it. lol

Cleaning House

2008-02-07T08:32:00.001-08:00

You guys are so funny! No, nothing juicy is getting deleted. I actually blurbed it...into one of those books. So I kind of didn't see the point of leaving all that on here.

But...

It's turned out to be a royal pain in the arse to delete more than one post at a time. So they may end up sticking around since I'm way too lazy to sit here and his the buttons that many times.

No worries! Just felt like cleaning up a bit and that felt like a good way. Mostly since yesterday was my two year blogiversary. Two years! So I wanted a clean slate, so to speak.

My lovely husband has offered me my own domain on which to do a blog, so I may end up deleting this one completely and doing that, depending on how much work it ends up being.

I will definitely keep everyone posted! :)

Bullets

2008-02-03T21:30:00.000-08:00

*Rhi sent me the most awesome camera ever for my birthday! It's a little fisheye camera and I have been having a BLAST with it! Haven't had any pics developed from it yet, since it used real film. But as soon as I do, I will share!
*The snow has been amazing this winter! I am glad I don't have to drive far in it, but when it's fresh and new it's absolutely gorgeous! And so much of it! I made a little snowman today, with an actual CARROT nose! I took some pics with the fisheye camera Rhi sent me.
*I have 3 packages to send tomorrow. One is a VERY late bingo prize from October (eek! I'm so mad at myself for letting that happen!). One is a package full of fun stuff, sort of a cross between a late Christmas gift and a just because package. And the last one is a box full of birthday goodness for my little sis, whose birthday isn't til March, but I don't want to wait to send it. :)
*I really like sending cute little notebooks to people. Maybe because I love cute little notebooks so it's kind of like giving what you'd like to receive?
*Why the HELL is Solitaire Golf so DAMN hard people? I played this as a kid and I swear I won a lot. Out of like 950 games (they go quickly, don't judge me!) I've won 14. FOURTEEN! Wth??? I much prefer Pyramid or Freecell, but this Golf has me obsessed!
*Got a heart shaped cake pan (to make heart shaped cake) and some velcro (to make myself an MP3 player armband). It really IRKS me that if you don't have an iPod, the accessories out there are slim to nil. As if EVERYONE has an iPod. Maybe they do! But I know one person who doesn't, and probably never will. Can you say MONOPOLY???
*I plan to go walking around the indoor basketball gym in the mornings. We'll see how that goes.

I guess that's all for now! Peace out!

Favorite Lyrics Part 5

2007-10-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know it's soon after my Mat Kearney review, but, I have to share these. I stumbled across this song on my zen while looking for another Savage Garden song. Great, great song...even better lyrics.

Affirmation
by Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I think this is my new theme song. It's THAT good!

Peace out!

Whole Lotta Great Lyrics

2007-10-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

So I've been posting my favorite lyrics here every so often. This one is a whole CD of them.

Some of the songs have a bit of a rap feel to them, but they are still awesome. You might know him from a song he did called "Nothing Left to Lose". He might have another on the radio now. Anyway, they are all excellent.

Mat Kearney. Fo shizzle.

Peace out!

Favorite Lyrics Part 4

2007-08-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

Seen and Heard
By Scooter Scudieri

As my heart lay in broken pieces
I must fix this puzzle called my life
And as I wander through this land of misfits
I will trust myself to do what's right
Once I took the time to count the number
Of friends and family who left my side
I've no delusions of how I got here
Alone and angry with my thoughts tonight
If I look to you will you look to me?
Commit to endless possibility?
Two fisted clash is not a choice
I'll raise my head and let you hear my voice
I want to be seen
I want to be heard
I want you dangling on my every word
I want to be loud
I want to be clear
I want the world to know that I was here
As my mind tries to connect the pieces
Jagged edges cut me deep inside
I let my music wash away the misery
It gives me strength
It helps me to survive
Some of us would like to believe
That our lives stood for something
Resist temptation to destroy
Step from the shadows
Let me hear your voice
I want to be seen
I want to be heard
I want you dangling on my every word
I want to be loud
I want to be clear
I want the world to know that I was here
I want to be loved
I want to believe
That someone in my life is listening

*I used these lyrics on that digital layout below. To check out more about Scooter, click here.

Favorite Lyrics Part 3

2007-06-19T23:18:00.000-07:00

See? I keep my word...this one is by When in Rome. My fave lines in italics again.

If you need a friend,
don't look to a stranger,
You know in the end,
I'll always be there.

And when you're in doubt,
and when you're in danger,
Take a look all around,
and I'll be there.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will.

When your day is through,
and so is your temper,
You know what to do,
I'm gonna always be there.

Sometimes if I shout,
it's not what's intended.
These words just come out,
with no gripe to bear.

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will.

I gotta tell ya, I need to tell ya, I gotta tell ya, I gotta tell yaaaa ...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
But if you'll wait around a while, I'll make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you...

I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. (I promise)
I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be. (I promise)
And if I had to walk the world, I'd make you fall for me,
I promise, I promise you I will ...
I will...
I will...
I will

Peace out!

Favorite Lyrics...Part 1

2007-05-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

I have decided to share my favorite lyrics with blogland. Whether you wanted to know, or not. :)

This one is from Cleveland by Jewel (there will probably be a few from her)

Went walking underneath the shadows
Where dark and suede secrets lay
When night's knife falls gently down
Hearts helplessly fall to the ground
Underneath a velvet sky
Only words can lie

I wanna tell you everything
I wanna make your toes curl
You'll be my only boy
And I'll be your only girl
There's not much I can say
You're in Cleveland today
You're in Cleveland today

Stewardesses like Cosmo magazine
Vogue makes me nervous, I feel so plain
I could face the world fearlessly
If you would face it here with me
With just our four hands and four eyes
Traffic cops will compromise

Daffodils and roulette wheels and rusty automobiles
Somewhere our things share the same windowsill
Somewhere our hearts exist independent of time
Somewhere we are whole
One body, one body and one mind

From the air things look so ridiculous
Our fears so small, our fights so vain
I want to pilot a plane with you
So all our problems look small too
It's just an inch from me to you
Depending on what map you use