Wednesday, August 27, 2008
When the Hour is None
I've always liked that phrase for some reason. Maybe because it implies that time can be nothing, or maybe stopped, even for a fraction of a second. Or an hour. I guess an hour.
Just finished reading a fantastic book called My Name is Will by Jess Winfield. Parallel eras. Drugs. Shakespeare. Excellent read. Might want to remove the dust jacket while reading as it does clearly state 'sex, drugs and Shakespeare' on the Bard's forehead right on the cover art.
It seems I've become the type of person who is terrible at being independent. I have this God-awful list of shit to do, and yet, during the times I should be shit-doing, I'm doing nothing. Afraid of my shit list. Seriously. I cannot handle one thing on it. Well, maybe the smallest things. But the list seems so...what's the word...inconceivably overpowering that it threatens to swallow me whole if I engage it.
I also cannot make any decisions while shopping for some lame reason. Every time I go to Target or something, I have to call my lovely husband to make a decision on something so random and mundane. And when I realized that, I was sickened and ashamed. So today, I went to Costco, made a decision on some t-shirts for our upcoming trip (since I have 3 shirts to my name, I would like to have a few more so no repeats shirt-wise). I selected 3 of these tie-dye ones, and they don't have dressing rooms. So I got them knowing I might end up bringing them back. Then I saw the two-pack of fitted t's that just called out to me, so I got them too. Knowing I might end up bringing those back. While the tie-dye ones make my jugs look nice, they are too tight around my waist. Pity, they are so cute. The other 2 make my jugs look smaller than my belly, which is more honest, but they fit better. So I am keeping those.
Back to my point, I made these decisions (as well as to take the 3 cute ones back) all by myself!!! Gold star for Jocelynne? No. As soon as I told my lovely husband of the shirt debacle, I was scolded most severely as apparently I was warned last week that we can get no extra ANYTHINGS to save for the trip. Nevermind the fact that I desperately need t-shirts, nevermind the fact that any time I've bought myself a necessity I end up taking it back out of guilt in lieu of something my family needs more, nevermind the fact that I'm taking the 3 back; the two I am keeping are apparently an extravagance the likes of which have never been recorded in history.
So I pouted. And I'm mad. At being spoken to that way. Hmph.
And in addition, I've apparently pinched a nerve in my neck which has been sending excruciating pains down my arm and burning in my shoulder. Lovely.
So, my dear internet peeps, it has not been a most joyous week, I am sad to say. And yesterday I had one of my lovely crying jags whereupon I burst out crying for seemingly no reason and every reason simultaneously.
Here's to a better rest-of-week and hopefully I've not brought you all down to the bottom of the barrel with me. Who will throw the rope if you're all down here with me?
PS Click on the pic to be taken to the full-size version. Just a bit of tongue-in-cheek humor.